Ukraine Adoption

A first, more than 3 years later

Tara filled her Barbie backpack with rainbow pajamas, pink shorts, a pink shirt and her beloved stuffed dolphin and told me she was ready to go. She was excited to be spending the night last Saturday at Aunt Karen's house. I was excited for her, but I was also a little choked up. For this was to be the very first time since April 2005 when she came home from Ukraine that she and I would be apart for a night. More than three years.

Yes, it's true. I have avoided business trips and our vacations have all been with the family. So while she was ready for her first sleepover, I wasn't so sure I was ready to drop her off and drive away.

The overnight adventure was set up because Tara didn't want to go with us to a baseball game Sunday, and Aunt Karen has been wanting her to spend the night for quite some time. You see, they both love arts and crafts. Aunt Karen had a bunch of projects for them to do; Tara would be thrilled. I knew this.

So during the 30-minute drive in the rain to Aunt Karen's Saturday evening, I reminded Tara to be polite and say please and thank you and to tell Aunt Karen if she needed something. She had band-aids in her pocket and a few extra pair of undies in her bag. Finally, Tara said, "I'll be FINE, Mommy."

Indeed. When we arrived, Aunt Karen and cousin Caroline were there to greet her. Karen pulled out all kinds of artwork for them to work on and explained each project to a wide-eyed Tara. I hung around longer than I needed to, hovering, holding my keys. Finally I said good-bye but they hardly noticed that I was leaving.

At home, I felt a little guilty for enjoying the short-term sense of freedom that I suddenly had. I read a magazine, uninterrupted, and ate an entire candy bar. I had a conversation with Austin, uninterrupted. And John too.

At the baseball game on Sunday, I called to check on Tara. Did she sleep ok? Has she been behaving? Is she crying? Karen told me Tara slept good and was just fine. Does she want or need to talk to me? I asked. Some mumbling on the other end. No, she says she's going to eat lunch now, Karen told me. Oh OK.

We had a lot of fun at the game, and I have to admit, it was much easier without Tara getting bored and restless.

Hours later when I picked her up, Tara told me she had a lot of fun at Aunt Karen's house. Caroline got her McDonalds for lunch, they made chocolate chip cookies, Uncle Mike playfully flipped her around, a pile of artwork sat on the table.

It seems we both survived this milestone.