Ukraine Adoption

A loud silence

My nearly 13 year old son wouldn't speak to me this morning, wouldn't even say good-bye, and my 5 year old daughter would only scream at me like I'm ruining her life because she can't find her shoes.

Am I doing everything wrong? Or right?

Austin is mad because I made him go to bed on time last night because he was really tired and crabby, plus I wouldn't help him with his homework because he waited until the last minute again and I had warned him about that.

Tara is crabby because she is getting smarter every day and demanding that her opinions count in all situations. She sat on her bed while I pulled shorts, pants, shirts, skirts, one by one, past the princess' scrutiny until I told her to figure out what she wants to wear and come downstairs afterward. "NO, WAAAAIT," she screamed.

When she was finally dressed and walked into the kitchen, she was wearing a blue skirt with white socks pulled all the way up her shins and pink Crocs/sandals. I gently suggested that she at least fold the socks down,( the 70s look is a bit old, ) and she wailed again that I hurt her feelings. Making her lunch a few minutes later, she studied each item with the same kind of scrutiny. "NO, I don't want THAT. And no not THAT." SIGH.

Meanwhile, as I'm dealing with an unreasonably teary Tara, Austin silently slipped on his coat and walked out the front door to catch the school bus. "Have a good day," I called out to him. He kept walking. But I noticed he was wearing one of the newly washed shirts I left out for him last night. So I guess maybe he doesn't totally hate me.

What are you looking at, Mommy?

Sometimes we forget to slow down and live in the present. We are too busy planning and scheduling our lives. It's been a long time since I had a "how cool is this" moment when I stop--and take everything in.

You watch your little girl change every day, but you change too.

Tara likes to pick up inchworms and find them a comfortable home on a small leaf. She catches toads and puts them in her little pink cage for a day, but then sets them free before nightfall. She cuts out little paper hearts without even folding them first. She takes off her shoes to run barefoot on the little stones at her Grandma's park. She lays on her tummy on the kitchen floor to watch the cat eat his can of food (he used to glance at her, now he is used to it).

Last week, Tara convinced me to take her for a ride on her new bike. Of course I was too busy to do this, but I went anyway. At the pond at the park where she fed crackers to the ducks, the sun setting on the water, the sounds of a boys' baseball game nearby, I felt myself exhale. There were a million things I should have been doing but suddenly I didn't care.

This little girl was showing me a glimpse of her world, where she takes everything in and lives each experience to the fullest. I think I was having one of those "how cool is this" moments. Tara turned back to look at me as I gazed at the water. Then she asked, "What are you looking at, Mommy?" Nothing, I said. And everything.

Tara-isms Part XX

--Tara was in the kitchen, peering into the refrigerator. Her brother Austin was in the family room, teasing her about something or other (who keeps track?) She leaned over to shout back to him: "Austin, stop saying that!.....HONESTLY!" (how grown up a 5-year-old sounds when she's using one of your words, tone and all.)

--Tara has a playdate today with her friend Ellie from school. Her friend's mom was to pick them up after school and take them to Ellie's house for a few hours. Last night at bedtime, an excited Tara ran through the timeline cycle with me. "Am I going to Ellie's today?" No, tomorrow honey, after school. "When I wake up?" Well, yes, but after school. "The next day?" No, tomorrow, not the next day. "Today then?" Deep sigh. It always seems like I'm more tired at her bedtime.

--She has a big case of "I didn't do it" this week. For instance, she was standing next to my tulips near a big tree, holding a few purple petals in her hand. Why did you pull on the tulip? I asked her. "I didn't do it."
I pointed out to her that she has at least one pair of shoes in every room of our house. "I didn't DO it," she proclaimed. Oh so those pink plastic Barbie play shoes walked in there by themselves? Well, you guessed it. She blamed the cat. Imagine that.

Tara and the tea party

It was quite the shindig: Tara was invited to a birthday party at a lovely tea house nearby. Little Hope was turning 5.

Well an afternoon tea means one must dress appropriately. Pink seemed to be the theme in our parlor, from fingernails to toenails and the shiny pink gloves, as Tara prepared for the celebration.

Upon arrival, visitors to the tea house were overwhelmed with fancy decor, right down to the fine china on the tables. The seven little girls in their Sunday best were greeted at the door with their very own "diamond" tiaras.

Delicate sandwiches and tiny crunchy cookies were served on flowered plates. Moms were shoo'd away and asked to return 2 hours later.

Tara says she had a lovely time, playing games and sipping something she thinks was tea but wasn't sure. She was crabby later so I know she had a great time. This means she is tired. :-)

Soccer part II

Tara was so giddy to see her dad and brother standing on the sidelines at her soccer game Monday that she she seemed to have extra energy on the field (is that possible?)

She was hopping, running, squealing, spinning. And that was during her 5-minute break.

Tara took the ball down the field at lightning speed (did so) right in front of us a few times, and I don't know who was more excited, her or her cheering family. What is it about watching our kids in sports that gets us all so pumped up?

PS: Thanks to my Mom for a lovely Mother's Day at her house on Sunday!

Mother's Day

A happy Mother's Day to all the moms who have children and to all the moms waiting for their children from faraway lands.

Don't give up.

Which way is up

In our state, and our state of mind, we suffer through the winters by staying indoors in the cold, dark evenings. Exercise is limited to walking in the wind, scraping the ice off our windshields, and driving in slow, slippery traffic.

But when the shade comes up for spring, that glorious season, we run around like crazy people trying to jam in as much fun and sun and outdoor activities as humanly possible all the way until Thanksgiving, if we're lucky. We work a whole year's worth into about 7 or 8 months.

Which brings me to today. After a full day at work, I will rush home to take Tara to her second-ever soccer practice and game at 6:30 p.m. How will she do after her stellar debut last week? Only time will tell.

Afterward, I will rush her home to a sitter, the girl next door whom Tara adores, and I will scurry off to Austin's baseball game that starts at 8 p.m. and is about a 35 minute drive from my house. That's right, a ballgame under the lights for a 13-year-old's baseball team.

And the crazy thing about all of this is: I'm looking forward to it. Bring on spring!