Ukraine Adoption

Run Tara Run

The sun was setting and the chill returned to the air. Moms and dads on the sidelines were bundled in winter coats and vests. I grabbed and hugged Tara one more time before sending her off to her first ever soccer game. "Remember to kick the ball that way!" I whispered in her ear. She nodded and ran onto the field, her ponytail bobbing. Did she really understand?

Off they went, a clump of kids chasing the ball. What a sight! Some kids were kicking dandelions, others were looking up at the sky. Tara was timid at first, following along with the crowd. Her friend Mallory is on the team; Mallory's dad is a coach. After the first few minutes, they had a quick break. I pulled her aside: Get to the ball! Kick it down the field! Chase it!

Then she got the idea. Little Tara Vika kicked that ball again and again! She ran after it, turned it around and kicked it toward the goal. She stuck her leg in the mix, again and again. Before long, I could hear others yelling her name. Two different moms asked, "Who is the little girl in the blue socks??" That's Tara, I said. "Has she played a lot of soccer?" One asked me. Why no, this is her first game ever, I said. They couldn't believe it.
She was in constant motion, zipping this way and that, sometimes actually making a difference in the game.
In the middle of the game, her coach looked at me and said, "She's fast!" Another coach told me: "Tara really gets it. She knows the game. She knows to turn and go the right way. Not a lot of kids get it like she does."

Alas, she didn't score any goals. And she did cry once, when she got kicked hard in the shin--just above the shin guard. The cold air made it sting. But she recovered quickly.

Just wait until next week...

See the light

It's warm and sunny and Tara and I are actually starting to crawl out of the sickness that darkened our doorway ALL week. We are both still suffering from colds and coughs, but hopefully past the multiple days of fever. I've been told that lots of kids in her school were out sick last week from a fever. Let's hope this is the last wave of illness before summer.

Today we are both still in our pajamas, hanging out and watching movies. Sure, that sounds fun, but it would be a lot more fun if we weren't sniffling, coughing and weak!

So I finally found a few minutes to read other families' blogs. It's so sad to see some have gone home childless, others have been spending weeks and weeks in Ukraine. What is going on?!? It's just so frustratingly sad.

I have just learned that a few days ago, Ukraine's president signed a law that prohibits singles from adopting in Ukraine, and also allows only 45 years between the age of the oldest parent and the child they are adopting. Message boards say some singles and older parents who are in Ukraine and met their children aren't getting court dates now because of the new law. This is tragic! Not only for the families (suffering an indescribable pain and sense of loss I'm sure), but the children who were bonding with these families and preparing to leave the orphanage for good. What happens to them now?? They will feel abandoned. Again.

Meanwhile, we have just passed our "Gotcha Day" with Tara. Three years ago I carried her out of an orphanage in Kiev. We only celebrate it silently now. Her transition and assimilation into our family is rather seemless these days. In other words, she has always been a part of our family.

Still down and out

Today we are both home sick. I caught the fever.
Tara's doctor checked her out this morning, it's apparently a virus and not strep throat or anything.
A little time and TLC and she'll be fine. Now how long will it take ME to get well, when I don't have time to be sick??

Down and Out

Little Tara Vika rarely gets sick, so when I saw her crumpled up on the floor in the hallway outside my bedroom door early this morning, I knew she was not over the virus that struck her late Saturday night.

Poor little thing, her cheeks were flush and damp from tears, her hair tangled and in her face. She was angry at me, as children blame their parents when the world isn't quite right.

Her forehead was hot. "I need medicine and you were taking too long!" she screamed at me. I scooped her (ahh, this must be why my back started hurting yesterday). We headed downstairs where I set her up on the couch with a blanket. I gave her some medicine. You will start to feel better in just a little while, I told her and kissed her head. It's nice that John works from home; I don't have to scramble to try to figure out my work situation.

Seeing her on the couch with a blanket, it reminded me of the days when I got to stay home sick. There's something so comforting about skipping school and lying on the couch all day. I should have bought some ginger ale, that's what my mom always gave us. But Tara likes to have popsicles when she is sick or injured.

When I was ready to leave, Tara seemed to be feeling better. She sat up a little straighter and managed a weak smile. Then asked: "How many popsicles can I have today?"

Remember when...

Three years ago today we were stuck in Ukraine, trying to figure out how to re-do our fingerprints with the FBI so that we could get a Visa and take Tara home to the good ol' USA. It's so hard to believe that it's been three years already since Tara's adoption. But then again, we can't imagine our lives without her.

If you want to visit or revisit this crazy day in our 2005 adoption story, you can click right here.

So this means I must file another annual report on how Tara is doing and send it along with 10 photos to the Ukraine Embassy in Chicago, and they are supposed to send it to the adoption center in Ukraine, and maybe even forward it to Tara's actual orphanage in Kyiv. I always wonder if the pictures ever reach her orphanage and whether her former caregivers get to see them. They would be amazed at her smile these days!

So this is a shout-out to my dear cousin Sally, who was with me in Ukraine three years ago this week. It was an adventurous, frustrating, exhausting time. But having Sally there made it so much better. Plus, she could speak English.

Tara is SO ready

Kindergarten, look out. Tara's pre-school teacher says Tara is "more than ready" for kindergarten in the fall.

We had a parent-teacher conference this morning and her teacher described Tara as: artistic, creative, always raising her hand with the answer (sometimes they tell her someone else needs a chance to answer), always excited to learn, willing to try new things, has learned to be "less sassy" than she was in the fall (my girl, sassy?), and is very well acquainted with letters and numbers.

There's more: Her classmates come to her to tie their shoes, she gives her teachers so much art work that they have some posted to the wall in the front of the room and throughout the bathroom (all with her signature of course). She has a lot of friends and she plays well on her own. "When she's doing artwork, she gets in a zone," her teacher said. "She's so creative!"

And the rest: Her language has improved, even in just the last few months where she'll say COMputer instead of puter. "I think if she slows down, she'll use the right words," her teacher said. She's apparently just so excited she blurts things out and sometimes you can't follow what she means. But she's learning...

OK, so I realized that her teacher did NOT know that Tara was adopted from Ukraine. I told her today that Russian was Tara's first language until she was two years old. This surprised her considerably. (the director knew, I assumed the teacher was told.)

So, she was evaluated exactly like her American peers. My baby. My big girl.

Kindergarten, look out.

Tara's teacher

Tara's teacher is going to tell me Tuesday about Tara's skills and readiness for kindergarten in the fall. I'm anxious to hear what she has to say about the little princess. She has been able to write her name, and mine, and John's, for more than a year. She can double-knot tie her shoes, sing the ABCs and we all know about her charm. Does charm get you into kindergarten?

Give me an "S"

OK, we did it. We signed Tara up on a soccer team. I'm officially a soccer mom, though I don't have a van. I know that the kids are just going to all run after the ball all over the field in a big clump, with no real offense or defense plan of action. But isn't it just hysterical to watch?!

We signed up in the YMCA league and they already gave Tara her red and blue reverseable jersey. She wears it after school. A lot. And the games or practices haven't even started yet. Add this to Austin's travel baseball schedule and we'll be pretty busy. But it's outdoors stuff and you can't beat that. If spring ever actually arrives.