Ukraine Adoption

Sweet 16

I have been telling Tara's story for two years. But now, someone special in our lives has her own story to tell: My niece Caroline turns 16 this week. Sweet 16.

Let me tell you a little about her. She has always been a breath of fresh air, even as a little girl when she smiled and jumped up and down in her crib first thing in the morning. And when she sang songs and made up the words with such confidence. She would always act happy to see me, even when I lived far away and I wasn't sure if she would remember me.

Every holiday with Caroline has been like the Best Day Ever. She loves to celebrate and always makes you feel special. She sends me cards that tell me I'm a great aunt. When she was little and would spend the night at our house in the summer, I would love to see those small shoes by the front door, always something fancy or trendy. She would accidentally leave something in my house when she went home and I would love to look around and find it. We have a pink blanket right now that she left a few visits ago.

Now she is a beautiful young woman and we are all so proud of her. Austin and Tara love when she visits. She has so many friends that we can't even keep track. I love when she tells me stories about friends and boys and school and pom poms. We laugh at her teen sarcasm. We watch in amazement at her ability to juggle her social life.

Her mother, my sister, did a good job for the last 16 years and she should celebrate too. Raising children is one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs in the whole world.

So this week we celebrate Caroline. We have had so much fun watching her grow up. And we know that the years ahead will be even more amazing. Happy Birthday to our dear Caroline, Sweet 16.

The stop by

Years ago, people used to just stop by to visit for a while, a pleasant way to catch up with friends, family and neighbors. Nowadays, if the doorbell rings, we scramble, we panic, we wonder, we peek out the window. Whose car is that?

Then we race around and pick up the house or just try to keep them in one room that is not so bad. (Also known as the living room without the TV). It's really a shame that these visits have gone by the wayside because otherwise we don't really take enough time to chat with people that we really like. Our busy lives just don't have room for it.

So when John told me last week that someone stopped by when I was at work, the first thing going through my mind was: Oh no, were there dishes in the sink?

I have made a pact with my neighbor and a few of my friends that we will never notice that things may be out of place or toys may be scattered about if we ever do a drop by visit. But isn't it sort of like telling a jury to disregard a defendent's confession?

Have I told you about my Clutter Box? When I get a phone call that someone is stopping by (I love the warning, by the way) I will walk through the house and gather extraneous toys, magazines, shoes and baseball mitts into a big box that I put in the garage. Later, I tell the guilty parties to get their stuff out of the box and put it away if they want to keep it. Right now, there is still some stuff in the box in the garage but soon I will pour it into the trash. I'm sure they won't miss it. And I need to empty the box for that next phone call, warning me that someone is stopping by.

For those who just ring the bell, well, all bets are off.

Tara-isms Part 10

I ask Tara to help me carry her stuff out to the car this morning, she replies with a tad of sarcasm: "I only have two hands."

She still mixes up her timeline. She will tell you that she did something tomorrow, that her birthday is yesterday. And, sometimes she'll say: "I'm going to ride a bigger bike when I grow last year." (It's hard not to chuckle at the brainteasers)

The lights were out, she was tucked in her bed last night, and she hugged me tightly, telling me she loves me and then whispering: "I love my daddy, I love my brother, I love myself."

An early train to Toronto

When the alarm blared at 3:45 a.m. Saturday, I couldn't for the life of me remember why I thought it was a good idea to take a 6 a.m. train to Toronto.

It was still dark out and I stumbled out of bed wishing it was just a bad dream. But then I saw the suitcases waiting by the bedroom door.

The kids were in a daze by the time John and I hustled them into the car. So were we. We made it to Windsor with plenty of time to spare and hopped on the train to Toronto, Ontario. Tara had never been on a train. She had never been to Canada. It was an adventure, indeed.

OK, here's why we went: We had tickets to see "We Will Rock You," a musical with music by Queen. It was awesome! Austin and Tara even liked it, and it was three hours long.

We spent Saturday and part of Sunday hanging around Toronto and caught a much more manageable noon train home. It's a lovely way to travel.

MORE ON TORONTO: Some street scenes

On the street one morning, we came upon a movie set in action. A woman who said she was an extra on the set told us the name of the film: "Critical Incident." She didn't know any more about it, not even the stars' names, and she hurried back to get with the crowd of men and women in suits, watching a fake accident scene. We will watch for this movie in the future. I heard it is less expensive to film in Canada than the United States, which is why our "Alaska" shows are often filmed in Vancouver instead.

In a Starbucks on Yongue Street, (and yes they are all the same worldwide aren't they?)we came upon a gruffy man with a day-old beard and a big belly sleeping on a couch near the front door. His eyes were shut tight but his mouth was wide open. We think the smiley people who were working behind the counter didn't see him, due to the angle, or maybe he always slept there. We didn't ask. I told Tara to drop something into his mouth, but she quickly caught on that I was teasing her. I think she is pretty street smart.

New families, new experiences

So much going on! My cyberspace friend Laura and her husband Ed returned from Ukraine just last week with three (yes three) children; two boys and a girl, all siblings age 7 and under (see her blog in the right column). She hasn't filed anything in a few days, probably still in shock. The kids are so cute.

Other families have been returning with children, as well, and I'm just thrilled to see this. But I am also hearing that some families are stuck in Ukraine, waiting for second or third appointments at the adoption center because they have not found children in the age group they prefer, or healthy children. The situation can change daily; I hope they don't give up and come home empty handed. Not after all that they have done. But it's brutal to sit there for days, even weeks, far from home in a place where you don't know the language, wondering if you will even get another appointment. I get a pit in my stomach just thinking about all of that waiting and worrying. Been there. Don't give up!

On a good note: I ran into Tara's main teacher Miss Stephanie at her new pre-school early this morning. I haven't seen her since the orientation; usually she comes in later. I was walking out and she walked quickly up to me with a big smile on her face and said, "Oh! I don't usually get to see you! Tara is doing great! She has adjusted really well and she's bonding with some of the girls. She's doing really great." After I got over the fact that she knew right away that I was Tara's mom, I was so happy to hear that. Whew.

So my note to any families that are waiting in Ukraine, or getting ready to leave for Ukraine, take a look at one of the pictures of little Tara Vika when we found her (February 05), and look at her now.

Flower girl

My sister Karen's wedding was lovely. Saturday was a perfect day--sunny, warm, and filled with family and friends from near and far. We were happy to welcome Mike into the family.

Tara was thrilled to be a flower girl for the first time ever. She stood at the front without fear. When I caught her eye, she smiled broadly.

Congratulations to the newlyweds!

A special day

Tara is a flower girl on Saturday for her Aunt Karen's wedding. She has been talking about it for a long time (Tara, not Karen. Well, actually, both of them).

Tara is so excited to be wearing a pretty blue dress. This is the first wedding that she has ever been a part of. Tonight, as I painted her nails a bright pink and braided her damp hair to make it wavy tomorrow, I asked her: Do you know what a wedding is?

"Yes, two people are married," she said. Good!
Who is getting married? "Caroline's mom...Aunt Karen."
What does that mean? "Mike is Karen's daddy?" Umm, no, he will be her husband, I told her. "OK."

"But Mom....What will be the party favors?" she asked.

This is a special day, we are happy to have Mike become an official part of our family. Congratulations to Karen and Mike!

(Check back soon for pictures)

Tara-isms during the holidays

We are doing a lot of things and nothing at all this week and really enjoying ourselves. We are spending a lot of time together as a family. So of course, the new Tara-isms are coming out strong.

--At the Tigers baseball game, Tara would not sit still and she would not stop poking her brother. I grabbed her and said sternly: Stop it, you need to behave.
"I AM being have!" she declared loudly. (It makes sense, when you think about it)

--The Tigers' slogan is: "Who's your Tiger?" Sunday was on-field photo day where you get to take pictures of the players. After a lot of pushing and shoving (I hope I didn't hurt anyone) I tried to hand Tara over to outfielder Curtis Granderson, who is "my" Tiger, so I could take her picture. She CLUNG to Austin's neck, and Granderson was trying to pull her and he said, "She's stuck on something." Then he gave up and walked away.
Later in the bathroom, I told Tara I was disappointed and I asked her why she didn't let him hold her for a picture??!! She responded: "He's not my Tiger."

--John told Tara to stop talking and eat her dinner. Tara said: "You're not the boss of me, DAD."

Time to go play croquet on the front lawn. Happy Fourth of July to everyone!

Morning at the park

We're enjoying our time off by hanging out at the nearby park, or sometimes just our own back yard.

I had to take some pictures of Tara today when I saw how tall she looks (or is it just me?) Check out those legs.