Ukraine Adoption

New homes, new lives

Families are meeting their new children in orphanages across Ukraine again. Some are seeing their adorable little daughters and sons for the first time right now, everyone in tears because the parents are so happy and the children are so scared. Who are these people? Other families are just arriving home in America and Canada, Spain and Italy. Their new Ukrainian children are well-dressed, well-fed and certainly well-loved already.

Check out some of the blogs on this site on the right. You will see sweet faces and read new stories about families adopting in Ukraine, and some in China and Russia, too. Their stories will make you laugh, and make you cry. You will feel their frustration with the "system" and their elation when they walk away from the orphanages for the last time, with their children. Enjoy.

Tara's World

In Tara's World:

--Flip flop shoes are flop-flops.
--A back pack is a pack-pack.
--Any gathering is a party. Any party is a birthday party.
--Beds are made for jumping.
--Brothers are made for teasing and bugging.
--If she already "read" a book, she says, "I read that 2 weeks ago."
--Getting in a car and going anywhere is good.
--Talking with your mouth full is a no-no.
--Small talk is perfectly natural. Driving home from school, the car is quiet. She says from the back seat: "We went to the library today."
--She loves to be a friend. If you are thirsty, she is thirsty too. She will bring you a drink.
--If you are hurt, she examines your wound and brings you a band aid.
--If you are tired, she brings you a stuffed animal to "help you feel better."
--She can scream like she's in a horror movie. Usually it's directed at the cat or her brother.
--She talks about her "family" all the time. At school, at home. She draws pictures of us. If she sees four animals in a book, she says they are us.
--We are all thankful for Tara. And for our family and friends.

Happy Thanksgiving...!

Holidays and parties

Tara is thrilled that Thanksgiving is this week. She has helped me pick out the centerpiece for the dining room table and the linen napkins. She has carefully examined the plates to make sure they will match the table cloth. She keeps saying, "We're making a party!" I told her that our family will be coming to our house on Thursday and we will eat turkey and sweet potatoes and pie. She squeals.

She is very excited. There's something about having a child around for the holidays that makes the old traditions seem new again.

Brave

We walked into the exam room yesterday, it was finally our turn. The three of us filed in silently like we were going for treatment of small pox or something. We were at the doctor's office for flu shots.

Well, Tara was there for a flu shot. Austin and I were getting the pain-free alternative: FluMist. It's a little squirt up the nose, you're done. But Tara is too young for the mist. "Who should go first?" the doctor said in a hushed voice. I nodded toward Tara, whose eyes were about as wide as she could make them.

He folded down her shirt to expose her little shoulder and pinched her skin to prepare for the needle. She held my hand and stared straight into my eyes. She didn't say a word. I saw the needle go in and quickly darted my eyes back to hers. She didn't even flinch. When the doctor was done, I said, "See, you're all done!"

She looked at her arm, and then back at me, and finally she spoke. "I'm brave."

Yes, dear, you certainly are, I told her.

Greta's date

For several months, my friend has been waiting and hoping for an appointment at the state department of adoptions in Ukraine. I try not to ask her about it whenever we talk. It's unnerving enough to wonder if you're ever going to get an appointment and go pick out your child. Getting an appointment means everything.

It means that Ukraine is expecting you to show up on this date and you will get about one hour to look at pages of children in the age range that you are requesting; each page will have little outdated photos and some health information. You will be making a decision to visit a child that you might be taking home with you forever.

This appointment is the culmination of months, sometimes years, of detailed paperwork, doctor's appointments, fingerprints, visits to the immigration office, notary publics, and the department of the state seal. Fed Ex and DHL delivery trucks become your best friends. You become an expert on international adoption, but you don't want to talk about it all the time because it just makes you so darn anxious.

OK. So I'm driving to work this morning and my cell phone rings. It's Greta. We've talked a lot lately. She is hoping for an appointment before the end of the year. This time, she gets right to the point.

"I have an appointment! Dec. 15!" she says. I scream with joy. She screams back. We are both elated. I think she is jumping up and down, since she is in her kitchen, but I'm in my car.

She called the adoption center this morning and they told her the good news. Greta is hoping to find a little girl, maybe age 5 or 6. I will post her blog on this site when the date gets closer. We can follow her journey.

For now, I am reminding her to take really warm clothes. And a lot of things to read. And movies. And a laptop. And learn how to say "no sausage" in Russian. (see blog dated Feb. 2005). There is a lot of down time, and travel time, and the days will be cold.

She gets to spend time with Natasha, our fabulous facilitator in Ukraine. She gets to see the really old, breath-taking churches. She gets to visit beautiful, sweet children in an orphange. And she gets to bring her daughter home with her.

An interview with Tara, Part VI

What do you like about school?
"I like toys, I like snacks, and all my friends."

What's your favorite song?
"Twinkle Little Star."
Why? "Because of you, Mama."

What do you like to do with your brother?
"Play stuff, jump on the bed. Austin laughs at me."

What do you like to do with your Daddy?
"Daddy gets me paper to write things. I like to draw all my family."

What do you like to do at Grandma's house?
"I like her (stuffed) animals."

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
"The park because I want to."

What do you like to do at nighttime?
"I like my Mommy to read a book for me. And I like to sleep."

What do you remember from when you were a baby?
"Nothing. I don't know. I want you to tell me."

Why do you sing all the time?
"Cuz I love to sing."

Little shoes, hair ties and hope

My house has been taken over by a little girl. Tiny pink shoes that light up are parked in front of the door, a little plastic wagon carrying a doll with messy brown hair sits in the kitchen, art work with tiny pom poms and stars is stuck on the refrigerator, four wooden puzzles sit upside down with pieces in a pile next to the television. This is my house right now. This is the result of my 3 1/2-year-old daughter with an active imagination. Tara will help clean up. But there will be more activities to follow.

Sometimes our house is just crazy. Add an 11-year-old boy's stuff to the mix:A baseball bat and glove are leaning on the front door, (tripped over it twice), two coats are hanging on the staircase rail, a book bag that weighs 50 pounds (I'm fairly certain)sits in the middle of the foyer. It's happy chaos.

And it's this chaos that many, many families are hoping for every day as they continue the process of adoption in Ukraine. There are many families there right now (!) and many are anticipating a phone call from their facilitator or adoption agency, or a letter from Ukraine, any day, with the good news that they have an appointment in December. I look at some pictures of the precious children who are being adopted right now (!) and I see some blue eyes and angelic faces that remind me so much of Tara.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and get more children (don't worry, John), but instead, I will live vicariously through all of the other families. When we picked up Tara from the orphanage filled with 150 toddlers and babies, someone told us it's like she won the lottery of life. Well, we feel like we're the winners. And finally, now that Ukraine's adoption system is back on track, there will be many more winning families in the coming months. And soon, they will see little pink or blue shoes by their front doors and they will smile, just as I do every day.