Ukraine Adoption

Happy Halloween

Here is the Butterfly Princess. She ran from house to house, with her brother, gathering as much candy as she possibly could. Now, she is having trouble going to sleep...

Sweet dreams, little one!

(more pics in photo gallery)

The Halloween Princess

Little Tara Vika has definitely embraced the whole concept of this, her second Halloween in the United States. She has been talking about her costume and candy and trick or treating and more candy for weeks.

Stay tuned, there will be pictures of the Butterfly Princess later...

What goes around...

I was fairly certain that I was a perfect child. But Tara is reminding me in many ways that maybe my memory is a little foggy.

This morning, Tara was still in her pajamas, watching cartoons and lazily flopping this way and that on the couch, hanging her head upside down and watching TV in all sorts of poses. I was in the middle of my Saturday cleaning ritual (John would call it my warpath), dragging the vacuum cleaner all around the house. Then I flicked it on in the family room. Vrrooooom. I stop, I heard screaming. What is it? I ask Tara. "YOU'RE TOO LOUD. I can't hear my TV!!!" I switch it back on and mumble to no one: Gee I wish I could be watching TV instead of cleaning. I sounded just like my Mom--because Tara sounded just like me.

Tara is very particular about what she wears. There are some outfits that she is outgrowing though she has never worn them. She wants certain shoes, a specific kind of tights. Getting her dressed to go somewhere can be nerve-wracking! "That doesn't match," she'll say. "I don't like that, maybe in two weeks....That's not the right coat.No, not THOSE shoes..." I remember my mom chasing around from shoe store to shoe store because I HAD to have yellow dress shoes. Nothing else would do. It's all starting to come back to me now. It's maddening!

My dad used to call me the Gypsy because I liked to constantly be on the go. If a friend called, I was out the door. I didn't see the logic in saying no. My mom and dad would have to sneak out of the house if they wanted to go to a store without me. Nowadays, I like to relax on the weekends. Tara has other plans. "C'mon! Let's go! We need stuff from the store! We need milk, juice, lotions. C'mon!"
She is holding my purse and keys. Here we go...

Tara-isms Part VIII

So I'm on the computer upstairs and I hear a shrriiiiieeek from the family room below. "Mommmmyyyyyy!!"

I run downstairs, there's Tara spinning around, looking frantically on the floor, the couch. What's wrong?? I say.
"I can't find the 'pillar!!" This is the caterpillar she has been keeping in a jar. We were suprised to find it outside in the cold. "I can't fiiiiiinnnnnd her!!!"

I join the desperate search, then I stop, and try not to laugh. My sweet little girl is spinning around with a fuzzy brown caterpillar clinging for life on her back.

So I come up and tell John the funny story, in hush-hush tones or Tara will think we're laughing AT her. "Ah, that explains it," John says. "She kept telling me she was looking for the 'pillar,' I kept pointing to the 'pillow' on the couch, and she was getting really mad at me." Ah, another crazy episode in our daily lives.

A great week in baseball

The Detroit Tigers baseball team is playing in the World Series that starts this Saturday and no one, not even the manager, saw this coming last April when the season started. We are thrilled!

Just three years ago, they were the worst team in baseball. Today, they are the American League champions---and we were at the game last week that clinched the title. A homerun in the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. Talk about drama!

And, I just wanted to post this picture (again) of Austin and Tara with pitcher Kenny Rogers, taken this summer on the field. He is one of the pitchers who beat the New York Yankees, the Oakland A's and now, he will be pitching in one of the games in the World Series.

Jump back

So I took Tara to her best buddy Natalia's 4th birthday party today at a place called Jump City. Imagine that, nearly 20 kids ages 3-5 in a room filled with those air-filled moonwalk-type things. Kids jumping and squealing and climbing and sliding. They had a blast! (I had a Tylenol). While I was standing there watching the kids, a mom holding a baby slid over next to me. "You're Tara's mom, right?" Yeah, I said. She said, "I knew as soon as I saw you because she looks like you."

Now, I decided some time ago that Tara is my daughter and there's no need to tell people I barely know that she is adopted from Ukraine. Obviously, I'm not trying to hide anything, but I also don't need to blurt it out at every opportunity. What's the point? So I smile and say, Oh really? She goes on: "Yes, her face, her hair. She speaks so well and I thought maybe she was 4 but she is kind of small so I wasn't sure." Oh, she's 3 1/2, I say, beaming. She presses on: "Well, she'll probably be a lot taller because you're so tall."

Now, I'm starting to feel like a liar. This woman totally assumes that Tara will inherit my height. And some of the moms already know about Tara's past. So, I tell her the Ukraine story, the very brief version. She is fascinated and tells me about some people she knows who might adopt. Why did I choose Ukraine? How long did it take? Was it a difficult process? I'm feeling like an ambassador for Ukraine adoption. That's a good thing, right?

Now I'm wondering if I will find myself in this situation a lot, since little Tara resembles our family. I guess I should read more about how other families handle this. There's nothing wrong with being adopted, but as they get older, kids don't usually like to stand out as being different. What's a proud mom to do?

First family

My emotions are all over the place as I read Amy's blog. I don't know her, but blogs make us feel like we're old friends.
Amy's family is apparently the first from the U.S. to be processed for adoption at the U.S. Embassy in Kiev, since Ukraine re-started the process in September. She and her family are going home tomorrow.

Amy and her husband adopted a precious little girl who just turned 3. I've been reading about their visits in the orphanage, the long treks through Ukraine streets, the restaurants, the officials. The excessive signing of documents. The waiting. And the waiting. And the hurrying. The boredom and the excitement. If you forgot the details of Tara's story, you can refresh your mind by looking at February 2005 in the archives when we met her. Or April 2005 with a guest appearance by my cousin Sally, when we brought her home.

I'm thrilled to see a family heading home with their new child! We hope to see many more, very soon.

We don't know what these children will remember, we can only hope to give them all the chances in the world. We're not sure what they truly understand, but it must be more than we can imagine.

Little Tara Vika will be four in January. I asked her yesterday if she remembers where she lived when she was just two years old. She said: "Far away." I said, why were you far away from me? And she said, "I don't know." I said, what were you doing? She said: "I was waiting for you."

Sunday School Drop In

I must confess: I have not been going to church as often as, well, as often as I think I should. I could think of excuses, and mostly that Tara is just too active in church. She likes to talk. I remember when she yelled out at the priest: "Enough! All done!....You're talking too much!"

Yes, that was my daughter. We have gone since that one outspoken day, and she has gotten better, at least for the first 30 minutes. After that, she pretty much has had enough. "Let's GOOOO," she'll say. "NOOOOOOWWWW." Nothing would help. I brought books, toys, even snacks (oh my). When she was done, she was done.

But last week, I got a letter that said Tara was big enough to be in Sunday school! So I signed her up! That means I get one hour of peace in church while she is in a room across the way with other 3 year olds, learning about religion: drawing, singing, playing. So we are not a real religious family (obviously) but this has been a blessing. Because today, at her first day, Tara loved it! Some other children were a little scared when their moms were leaving them there, some were clingy. Tara hesitated for about 2 minutes, then ran over to the crayons, sat down, turned and smile and waved good-bye to me. What a trooper.

When I picked her up afterward, she was all smiles. She said she has new friends. She wants to go back next week. She continues to amaze me.

Pre-teen and Pre-school

So my 11-year-old son barely answers a question and when he does, it's with one word. My nearly 4-year-old daughter from Ukraine won't stop talking.

My son is eating constantly, like a full bowl of something right after dinner. My daughter eats like a bird and only wants popsicles and snacks.

My son doesn't like to be dragged out to the pharmacy, church, grocery stores, or most any place that doesn't have the word "toys" or "games" or "computer" in it. My daughter rushes to put on her coat, her purse, her shoes and her lipstick at even the slightest suggestion that we're going someplace. Any place. Doesn't matter. But we're going, and sometimes she brings me my purse and says, "C'mon, let's go!"

Now my friends with older children laugh at me and shake their heads knowlingly when I share my stories about the chaos and inconsistencies that is my life with two kids--one pre-teen and one pre-school.

Sometimes they say words meant to reassure and comfort me, like, "It only gets worse. Wait til they drive."

Now my son is very quiet, you have to look in the backseat to remember that he is riding along with you. My daughter, well, just imagine the opposite. My son feels it's his "job" as a big brother to make her scream, squeal, yell, laugh loudly and whine. He is good at his job, especially when: I'm driving; I'm on the phone; I'm in line at the store; I'm trying to get Tara to sleep at night; and/or I'm doing anything that requires a smidgen of concentration, like making sandwiches for school lunches.

I'm fairly certain that my Mom is smiling by now if she is reading this. She raised five of us. When I was telling my friend the other day that my house is loud and crazy now with two kids, she said: "Imagine our moms. They had so many more!"

Indeed, I'm not complaining. These kids are awesome. They are well-adjusted, smart, funny and sweet. I guess I'm the one that is still trying to adjust!