Ukraine Adoption

Anticipation

So the new adoption center in Ukraine has been functioning for one month now, and so far, no one has an appoinment. The center promised to fit all of the registered families in by the end of December. August has been the new magic month. Families were told last month to send a letter confirming their intent to adopt, notarized and apostilled by their state governments and shippped overseas. Whew. Then the center required families to list all of their updated documents, notarized and apostilled. One more hoop. But the families that are anxiously waiting don't mind so much; they are happy to see any movement at all.

So is August the magic month? Will the center use the Fed Ex envelopes that U.S. families sent in with applications, or regular snail mail and make prospective parents wait for weeks to hear about an appointment in, say, September? Ah, the excitement of international adoption. It's not for the faint of heart. Or the thin skinned. The message boards have noticeably quieted down. This probably means people are scrambling for one or two or five more documents that they need. Their bodies are going through the motions (again) but their minds are on one thing: their new but yet unknown sons and daughters who are still waiting for them, thousands of miles away.

July, anyone?

OK, so it seems like July is just flying by. Whatever happened to the lazy days of summer?

We went to an outdoor wedding yesterday afternoon, it was lovely though it was 92 degrees outside. The big white party tent helped a lot, but Tara found a way to cool off. They put up a hose with a mist of water nearby. Tara, in her pretty summer dress and sandals, stood right in the mist, her arms spread out, her eyes closed. She ran around a bit too, until she was completely drenched, drops of water falling from her ponytail.
The rest of us watched, envious, gulping down water and soda.
Oh, to be 3 again...

Days at the park

There's a lovely park just a few blocks from our house that Tara really likes to go to, especially on a summer evening after dinner. She has mastered the area that is for 5-12 year olds, even though she is only 3 1/2.

Then there's the ballpark. I like to have lazy Sundays, but I decided at the last minute this morning to grab Austin and Tara and rush downtown for the on-field picture day at the Detroit Tigers baseball game. Wow! We arrived just in time to nudge our way onto the field to the roped-off area where the players were making their rounds to the fans. They put their arms around kids and posed for pictures as though they were honored to do so. We got some great shots of players with Austin; Tara pretended she was shy and wouldn't get close to the players.

Then, Kenny Rogers, the starting pitcher in the All-Star game a few weeks ago, bent down and said to Tara, "Can I pick you up?" She smiled at him. He gently scooped her up and then put his arm around Austin for a photo! I took two, just in case. "Austin is a pitcher!" I told him, sounding goofy I'm sure. But just wow, what an experience for both kids. OK, and for me, too. (See picture in set at left)

And the Tigers, who are in first place and are the winningest team in baseball right now, won the game. A great, sunny day all around. I drove home with two kids grinning. That makes it all worth it.

Smarty

So while we're all anxiously waiting for the new adoption center in Ukraine to start setting appointments again(!), here's a little story about one of our newest Americans:

We were at Austin's baseball tournament the other day and the mom of one of his teammates was trying to get her 4-year-old son to play with Tara, who was promptly sitting in her pink princess sport chair, wearing a sundress and beads, of course, her gold purse nearby.

"Henry, this is Tara," she said. "Would you like to play?"

Henry slipped behind his mom's legs, hiding his face. "C'mon Henry," she said. The boy slinked away toward his dad.

"I'm sorry, he's so S--H---Y," she slowly spelled out.

Tara smiled broadly. "I'm shy too!" she proclaimed.

The mom's chin dropped open, she looked at Tara, then me. We both burst out laughing. "Can she SPELL???" she asked in shock. I don't think so! I answered.

Ahh, the mysteries of a 3-year-old. Oops, 3 1/2-year-old girl who is definitely NOT shy.

Sand angel

Tara loves the sand, the beach.

ABCs

So I'm at the end of the routine to get Tara to go to sleep and I'm so desperate (it's summer and light outside and she's ready to play), I start to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, like I did when she was just a tiny 2.

Halfway through the song, she says, "That's the same as the ABCs song." I stop. Yes, it is the same tune! How do you know that? She shrugs her shoulder and says, "I just know."

So I keep singing and she rubs the back of her hand under her chin, back and forth, the universal sign of "cut." And she says, "stop!" So where is she learning this stuff? And why doesn't she like my singing?

Bones in my head

Apparently they are teaching anatomy in Tara's pre-school for three- to five-year-olds. "I have bones in my arms, and I have bones in my legs," Tara declared today. "They help me grow."

Really? I said. "Yeah. And I have muscles cuz I'm strong."

I pressed on. What else did you learn?

"I have bones in my head, too. Right there," she said, pointing to her forehead with a very serious expression on her face.

This is good news. She has an interest in boo-boos and bandaids, she loves to see cuts and bruises up close. She constantly monitors our scrapes or burns. Maybe she will be a doctor and take care of John and me in our old age! Oh, come on, I AM being realistic. We DO have bones in our heads!

Don't look at me

Sometimes Tara is 3 going on 13. If she is a little tired or hungry or just feels like being crabby, she says, "Don't LOOK at me, Mommy!"
Yesterday we were riding on scooters and she didn't want me to pass her up, or follow her, or ride next to her. Or look at her.
If she catches me staring at her, she turns quickly toward me and says, "What are you DOING?" (Parents of teens: does this sound familiar?)

She has really developed quite the strong personality. Much of the time, she is sweet and funny. But you never know for sure when she is feeling fiercely independent.

We were driving home today and I was thinking about a friend of mine who is registered to adopt in Ukraine and waiting for an appointment date and I was feeling the excitement for her. And I was thinking about the day we picked up Tara from the orphanage, how frail and scared she looked. So I stole a glimpse of her in my rear view mirror. There she was, smiling, all in pink with headphones on watching "Finding Nemo." (the DVD player was my "Mother's Day" present; funny, but I can't see the movie because I'm driving...)

Anyway, she caught my glance in the mirror. Whoops, I thought. But in a loud voice over the headphones, she declared, "I LOVE you Mommy!"

News from the US Embassy

The adoption community received this email today from the US Embassy. Apparently they will accept new dossiers from US families, but not until January. It seems the moratorium has been lifted. Yay to that news, boo to the delay. The latest word is that some families are proclaiming that they have given up on Ukraine and may try other countries. So sad for them all. And for the children.

Keep the faith.

Dear Members of the American Adoption Community Interested in Ukraine:

On July 3, 2006 the Minister for Family, Youth and Sports, Yuriy Pavlenko, held a press conference to announce the official opening of the new adoption authority, to be known as the State Department for Adoption and Protection of Rights of the Child (SDAPRC), and to outline his ministry’s policies related to the protection of children’s rights.

Minister Pavlenko reported that the previous central adoption authority (the National Adoption Center under the Ministry of Education) had been dissolved, and stressed that the SDAPRC is completely separate from the previous system. He underscored that Ukraine has no intent to impose any restrictions or moratorium on intercountry adoptions; nonetheless, he made clear that promoting domestic adoptions will be the first priority and the main focus of the new adoption authority.

On the basis of Minister Pavlenko’s statements, the Embassy has assembled the following information for Americans who wish to adopt in Ukraine. Americans with more detailed questions should contact us directly at: adoptionskiev@state.gov

Q: When will the new adoption authority start accepting new adoption dossiers?

A: Pavlenko made clear that the SDAPRC will accept NO new adoption dossiers from non-Ukrainian adoptive parents before January 1, 2007. This applies to ALL intercountry adoptions, including applications for biological siblings of previously adopted children. According to Pavlenko, this is not a moratorium but a temporary suspension to allow complete reform of Ukraine’s child welfare and adoptions system.

If a prospective adopted child is about to “age-out” (i.e., the child will turn 16 years old in 2006), please contact our office at: adoptionskiev@state.gov

Q: What happens to the families whose dossiers were registered with the NAC? Will the registration numbers remain the same?

A: According to Pavlenko, the SDAPRC inherited from the National Adoption Center 1,200 registered adoption dossiers from foreign citizens. Of these, 390 are from American families wishing to adopt in Ukraine. These 390 registered families will keep the registration numbers assigned by the previous National Adoption Center; cases will be considered in the order of their registration numbers.

Q: We have one of these NAC registration numbers. What should we do now?

A: All registered families are asked to submit new applications to affirm their intention to adopt in Ukraine. This application should be done in the same way as the one previously submitted to the NAC with their original dossiers, but should now be addressed to the new adoption authority and sent via regular or courier mail service directly to the following address:

Ms. Ludmyla Volynets

Director

State Department for Adoption and Protection of Rights of the Child

Ministry of Family, Youth and Sports

14 Desiatinna Street

Kiev 01025

Ukraine

Only original, notarized and apostilled applications, accompanied by a Ukrainian translation, will be accepted. An English-language sample application will be posted on the Embassy web site soon.

Q: We have a NAC registration number, but some of our documents have expired, or will expire soon. Do we need to update them? Should we bring the updated documents for the appointment or submit them prior to our trip to Ukraine?

A: If any of the adoption documents in a previously registered dossier have expired or will soon expire, the adopting parents should send the updated documents directly to the SDAPRC as soon as possible. These documents should be sent via regular or courier mail service to the address specified above.

Q: When will the families who registered with the old adoption authority have their appointments?

A: During July and August of 2006 the new adoption authority will complete the scheduling of adoption appointments for registered families that have confirmed their intention to adopt from Ukraine. The appointments for registered families will begin after September 1, 2006.

Q: How can families communicate with the new authority? Will my facilitator be allowed to communicate with it on my behalf?

A: The SDAPRC is now fully staffed, with its own English interpreters (as well as Spanish, French, German and Italian) available on staff. Since the current Ukrainian law does not allow adoption intermediaries, no private interpreters/facilitators will be allowed to interpret during meetings of prospective adopting parents with the SDAPRC. You can still use the private interpreters/facilitators for other stages of the adoption process.

Minister Pavlenko stressed that all employees of the SDAPRC are civil servants and are subject to administrative and criminal penalties for any malfeasance.

Q: Is there any new information about the availability of children for intercountry adoption?

A: According to the Ministry, only 16% of all adoptable Ukrainian children are under five years old and relatively healthy. At the same time, 50% of all the U.S. prospective adopting families have indicated specific interest in this category of children.

Q: What changes will be introduced to the actual adoption process, particularly regarding paperwork requirements?

A: Generally, it appears that much of the actual procedures and paperwork (medical forms, etc.) for intercountry adoption in Ukraine will remain much the same. The Embassy is working to obtain complete information from the SDAPRC, and will announce specific changes as soon as the Ukrainian authorities make this information available.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any additional questions.

Sincerely,

Adoption Unit/Immigrant Visa Section

Consular Section

American Embassy

Kyiv, Ukraine

Tel: 38-044-4904422

Fax: 38-044-490-4570

adoptionskiev@state.gov

http://kiev.usembassy.gov/amcit_adoptions_eng.html

In accordance with E.O. 12958 this message is not classified.

New hope

The minister for family, youth and sport affairs Yuri Pavlenko held a press conference in Ukraine today, and told journalists about plans to begin the adoption system again. According to various reports, they will begin the process fairly soon, with the first families arriving in September, and they will get through all of the registered families by the end of this year.

All registered families will be required to fill out a form that confirms their intent to adopt. Some of the files date back a few years and it is believed that some families gave up waiting. The ministry said 1,200 familes are registerd from throughout the world, with 385 from the U.S.

They are also forming 93 family group care homes and 486 foster homes for orphans. It is a good start, though clearly not enough to help the tens of thousands of children in Ukraine orphanages right now.

So the new adoption center is operating, the families are feeling a glimmer of hope, the facilitators are scrambling to get information for their clients. There's the ongoing stress of updating paperwork, worrying about when to travel, scrambling to prepare our employers and families for our absence.

And then, there are the children. Let's not forget their fate. They know what waiting is all about. To us, it's an inconvenience. To them, it's their world.