Ukraine Adoption

Three four, buckle my shoe

Tara is tucked in for the night, but we hear her singing. "Three four, buckle my shoe." This is making Austin crack up, he is shouting, "It's ONE TWO buckle my shoe." This only prompts Tara to sing the wrong words louder.

Maybe we should have named her Cathy, as in Chatty Cathy. For a little girl who was so shy and couldn't speak any English just last year in Ukraine, she sure has mastered the art of conversation.

She likes to talk. She likes to talk over others. She likes to talk on the phone. She likes to talk with her friends. You don't always know what she is saying, but most of the time you do. Friends are amazed at how well she speaks. I have read other blogs on adopted Ukrainian children and they say their kids like to talk a lot too. Austin was a very quiet little boy. Tara makes up for those years of silence. We wouldn't have it any other way.

Triple play

OK, this doesn't have anything to do with Tara and her adoption from Ukraine, but it's a quick story worth telling. Austin's Little League team (the majors, age 11-13) had its final play-off game last night. This was the sixth game of the series. The winners of this game were to be the champions. The trophy is waist high. There was a big crowd!

So Austin's team, the Red Sox, were ahead 7-1 in the final inning, the last at-bats for the Athletics. All the Red Sox had to do was to stop them from scoring. But a few mis-haps in the field and a few walks later, the score was 7-3 with the bases loaded and no outs! It didn't look good for Austin's team. The tying run at the plate, if he hit a grand-slam. He was a good hitter. Our pitcher was visibly shaken up. Austin was playing second base, his eyes jutting this way and that.

The batter smacked the ball waaay into right field! Our right fielder ran forward (no, back! go back!) he stopped and reached all the way up behind himself...the ball landed in the tip of his glove! He caught it. He jumped up and down, we all screamed! He threw it to the pitcher, who ran to touch first base because the runner didn't tag up. Two outs! The coaches were yelling, throw it home! throw it home! So he did, and our catcher tagged the runner who was so caught up in the excitement of our team catching the ball that he forgot to run right away.

Three outs, a triple play! The Red Sox won the championship. What a game. What a game. Congratulations to the boys who worked so hard this summer, and it paid off.

Happy Birthday Austin

Eleven years ago today, at 9 a.m. sharp, on his due date, Austin was born. I remember it all like it was yesterday. Now he is catching up to me in height.

We spent Saturday on our boat, a lovely, sunny day and a great way to celebrate with just the four of us.



Tara loves birthdays. We celebrated her grandma's birthday this weekend, too. She helped with the balloons and the presents and the cake. She is now declaring herself to be 3 1/2. Remember when 1/2 years mattered so much?



Happy Birthday, Austin. You are always my baby!

Baseballs R Us

We have been going to a lot of baseball games, with Austin's current team in the playoffs, and his new team starting up for the summer. Tara tries to be a good sport, though there isn't much for a 3-year-old to do at the ballpark every evening!

Sometimes she screams his name when he is about to bat. Or yells hello to him when he is pitching or playing second base. It's kind of funny, though I imagine it's a bit disruptive for the other team when they are batting and she's yelling, "I want candy!!" or "Look at this bug!"

Hey, maybe it's a good strategy for winning.

Center to open in July

This is a note from the US Embassy in Ukraine, sent to the adoption community:

Dear Members of the American Adoption Community Interested in Ukraine:

The Embassy has received a diplomatic note dated June 6, 2006 from the Consular Department of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Ukraine noting the new adoption authority, the State Department for Adoption and Protection of Rights of the Child will open in July 2006. The Embassy will continue to track the transition and other adoption-related issues closely, and will provide updates as appropriate by e-mail and on our webpage: http://kiev.usembassy.gov/. Any American adopting parents who would like to be added to our e-mail list are welcome to contact us at adoptionskiev@state.gov.

All girl?

We can't help but try to figure out our children's personalities, who they are and what they will become as they grow. Sometimes I'm convinced that Tara will be what my son's friends call a "girly girl." They like to paint their nails, wear pretty clothes, fuss with their hair, talk on the phone and squeal at the sight of bugs.

Tara does those things, except for the bugs. She has no problem squashing a bug with her foot, her hand, a shoe, whatever. Tough girl. She also has no problem doing the rough and tumble with her brother (she has a good right-hand swat). She also likes to run really fast, a lot, and she can grab the rings on the swing set, pull herself up, flip over and land on her feet like an Olympian. So maybe she will be both a girly girl and a sports girl.

That's a lot like her cousin Caroline, who is almost 15 and visiting us for a few days. Yesterday, the two sat on our porch while Caroline put makeup on Tara's face, put her hair up just like hers, and painted her nails. Tara was so pleased! This was more of a makeup lesson; when we picked up Caroline, Tara was in the back seat with lipstick about an inch around her mouth, white powder on her face ("I WANT too much!" Tara had told me) and purple liquid eye shadow spread on her arms and legs. Don't even ask. (The makeup was courtesy of Auntie Karen, who now that I think about it, used to wear bright blue eye shadow when she was a teenager...Ahem)

Will she take dance classes? Play soccer, or an instrument?

I think maybe Tara will be one of those cute sports girls who doesn't mind if she breaks a nail, as long as she looks good doing it. So far, it's been fun to watch her blossom.

Saying good-bye

Our friends and neighbors moved far away today. We all feel the loss. I don't think Tara completely understands what I mean when I tell her that they will no longer live just a few houses down the road. They have a son, Jack, who was in Austin's class for the past three years and a daughter, Eliza, who is 7. Tara loves getting Eliza's hand-me-downs.

The boys used to ride their bikes to school together sometimes. I got to watch them ride off on a few mornings whenever I was home. Two boys with back packs pedaling and chatting away. I couldn't help but smile. One time, Jack's mom told him to ask Austin for a ride home after school. That same morning, I told Austin to ask Jack for a ride. The boys walked home in the drizzle, blaming us all the way. We had to laugh.

After school, they played football and all kinds of sports outside. Or, they played X-box or computer games until we chased them outside.

The girls played outside on their scooters and on the swings. Eliza watched over Tara like a big sister when we went to the park.

Their parents are awesome. We wish them well in their new house and new jobs! They closed the chapter on their lives here, but we won't let them close it on our friendship. The Internet is great, we can email anytime. But, we all know, it won't replace the precious moments of hanging out in our driveways and watching the kids run free.

Still waiting

Everyone in the Ukraine adoption community is waiting, waiting and watching for the new adoption center to open. There have been no adoptions for the past few months, no new dossiers accepted. Families are redoing their paperwork for the second and third times. It's so frustrating, I'm sure!

The word is, the center will be finally up and running June 20, or shortly thereafter. Facilitators have been helping the new leaders organize all of the files that were moved to another building. The hope is that the new adoption leaders will open the door again for new applications from Americans for children under 10 years old. Families that were registered before the shut down are waiting and waiting for a date to travel to Ukraine. I totally know what it's like, day after day, wondering if you'll hear some news. We waited 8 months to travel.

It would be so easy to just give up now. Who feels like being fingerprinted again? Or getting another physical? (those dreaded medical forms!!) Or having a social worker come to your house yet another time and ask questions about your life? How fun is it to ask your boss AGAIN to sign an employment letter?

Families: Hang in there. Please. For the sake of the children. You have gone this far. I promise you it's all worth it.

Little Miss Personality

And so we begin Tara's second summer as an American...

So I pick her up from pre-school at 5:30 pm yesterday and she is swinging on a big tire swing with her best pal Natalia and they are giggling like they share an inside joke. "Hi MOMMY!" Tara shouts as I walk up. Hello! I say. She pauses, looks at her friend who is leaning up against her and they are laughing again. "Two more hours Mommy, OK?" Tara tells me. Sigh. I guess I'm the only one having a hard time getting back into the work/school routine after vacation. SHe wants to stay at school even longer.

John theorizes that for Tara, going to pre-school is like going to a party every day. So many cool and fun things to do with a bunch of kids your size and really nice teachers who have patience sent from on-high. Can you imagine the repeated phrases they hear all day from each kid? (Watch me! for one)

So we were finally on our way home where we were hosting a barbecue for neighbors who are moving away. It was only three families including us. I told Tara it was a party. "Who's birthday?" she asked. No one's, it's just a party. "I want cake" she says. I tell her there will be some cookies at this party. About 10 minutes later she asks again, "Is it Austin's birthday?" No, it's no one's. "Is it mine?" No, yours is in the winter. "OK."

You guessed it, 10 minutes later, "Will there be birthday cake?"

You can just see her little brain working, all the time. She's figuring things out. She's right, what's a party without birthday cake?

Tucked in

Little Tara Vika is tucked in for the night, finally. I reminded her that she woke up at the beach and she is going to bed in her own home. Her last words to me before dozing off? "Why did we leave the beach?" Ah, good question! (She has never asked why we left Ukraine).

We have many memories of our week spent with two of my brothers and their families. We laughed a lot, shared old and new stories, swam in the pool every day, fought the waves in the ocean, ate a lot, stayed up late to gaze at the stars, slept in, bought souvenirs that we don't really need.

But there is some comfort being home in our own beds, our own rooms. Tara, with her sun-kissed face, wanted me to wait until she fell asleep tonight before I slipped away. It didn't take long. Sweet dreams, little one.

not TGIF

We can't believe the week is coming to an end. We couldn't have asked for better weather. It's been amazing! We see a big difference in Tara this year over last year's trip. She is SO much more talkative now--she knows plenty of English. She wants to live here all the time, she says. Sure, who doesn't?

Tonight we will have a nice meal in the house, overlooking the ocean, and head outside to our rocking chairs to bid farewell to the sea. For now.