Ukraine Adoption

Tara-isms Part III

We were driving home from pre-school the other day and Tara kept saying, "Mom! Mom! Mommy!! Mom!"
I said, exasperated: "Yes, Ma'am!"
I saw her little face in the rear-view mirror, her eyes almost disappeared as she scowled at me, thinking over my response.
"I'm NOT Sam. I'm Tara!"

Last night, John told her to eat her food or she will be in trouble (She loves to dilly-dally at dinner). She got mad, pointed her finger. She said, "Don't talking me, Daddy! Don't talking me like that! Bad bad bad!"

Tara and I walked in the front door and there was a pile of coats jammed onto the stair railing, I let out a big sigh as one tumbled to the floor. Tara, still in her coat, marched upstairs mumbling about how she was going to talk to "John" and I could hear her hollering at him about the coats. But he couldn't quite figure out what she was saying. I stood at the bottom of the stairs, grinning. It's hard not to smile in the presence of so much determination.

She blames everything on her brother Austin or the cat, including but not limited to: who ate the candy (Austin); who let the cat outside (Austin); who spilled the orange juice (cat); who left these pink shoes in the hallway (cat); who left the water running (cat). A pretty talented cat, wouldn't you say?

Signed, sealed, delivered

We did it. We sent Tara's first annual adoption report to the Ukraine Embassy. We are in compliance. It is due April 6. We didn't want to be one of the 900 families who are apparently not sending these in, according to Ukraine's Adoption Center. That is what led the government to stop accepting new dossiers from U.S. families.

There are some families in Ukraine this month, but apparently there are no new appointments for April. The new center takes over May 1. Let's hope that the leaders of the new system will understand that their children are well cared for in their new American families, and see past the paperwork, finally, so the more than 100,000 children in Ukraine orphanages will find new homes. Sooner rather than later. Or never.

Here are some toddlers in a picture taken in the past month by a family that has been home for just a few weeks. I am borrowing this picture from their blog to remind us about the children who are still waiting. And waiting. Families: Don't give up!

They adopted two adorable children. Here is their blog: http://spaces.msn.com/benandmaggie/

Whose fault?!

So we're driving away from Tara's pre-school the other day and she asks me for candy. I tell her I have an apple for her. She always gets a snack for the ride home. She says no, she wants candy. She says this 15 times. I tell her that she won't get candy if she is yelling at me to give it to her. She starts to cry, actual tears. Now I'm in a jam, trying to keep my eyes on the road, but hating that the little sweetie is so upset. I can't give in now, then she will think that she only has to make a fuss to get a treat. Bad message!

So a few blocks later she blurts out, "It's all your fault, Mommy! It's all your fault!" This she says 15 times. Her unhappiness is my fault? I guess that's what she means.

OK, that's a new phrase. Where did she learn that one?! From us? Her friends at school? Her brother? A movie? It's not something we really say.

She is picking up so many new words and phrases and expressions. It's amazing, exciting, funny and sometimes embarrassing. She is such a sponge.

This morning she dropped something and said, "dang it!" Oops, that one's from me.

A night in the life

Sometimes at night, you know those precious moments when we're tucking our children into bed, I find myself itemizing events to my 3-year-old daughter to convince her that it's finally time to sleep. You had a bath, we brushed your teeth, I put lotion on you, we combed your hair, painted your nails, I read you two books and rubbed your back... It's never enough, though, is it? Why is it that all we want to do is figure out how to get more sleep and all they want to do is figure out how to stay up?

So tonight was no different. We went through the routine and as I slipped out of Tara's room the phone rang. My friend was calling! All of the cordless phones were dead. I think I'm the only one who ever puts them on the charger. So I run to the one with the cord. We are chatting, laughing, making plans for lunch. Then Austin arrives, with a ball. And he sits down and bounces it. Then John comes to see what's going on, and now the two of them are playing catch in the hallway with all of the lights on right outside of Tara's room. And now I see a little pink blur run by. She's up. And she's having fun. I shout out, "Hey! She's supposed to be in bed!" I hear giggles.

If you have kids, have you ever noticed that when you're on the phone, you become a magnet for every breathing entity in the house? I mean, even the cat was suddenly hanging around.

Queen for a day

John bought this Queen shirt for Tara when he was in Las Vegas at a business meeting (or so he says.) He saw the rock musical, "We Will Rock You." She loves it.

The waiting was the hardest part

At this time last year, we were home in the U.S., waiting for the 30 days to pass so we could go back to Ukraine and pick up Tara from the orphanage. Deep, deep in the back of our minds, we knew there was a chance that something could go wrong. Would she even still be there? Would her birth family come to claim her? Would they find some kind of glitch or error with our paperwork? That very rarely happens at this stage of the adoption process, but boy, I really kept busy so that little fear couldn't creep into my thoughts as the days passed by. Waiting out the 30 days was was tough. It helped so much that my cousin Sally had decided to go back with me. I will never forget what she did for us!

OK, so next month we celebrate "Gotcha Day." That's adoption-speak for the day that you actually get custody of your new child. On April 8, 2005, Tara Vika got in the car and we drove away from the orphanage for the last time.

April 8, 2005 blog entry

Today, Tara played outside in the wonderful spring sunshine with her brother Austin and lots of kids in the neighborhood. It was a glorious Saturday. She has grown more than 4 inches since last April, and she has grown in so many more ways.

Ah, siblings

So Tara is learning so much every day, especially the little tricks of life that her 10-year-old brother Austin is teacher her. For instance, how to get into my bathroom when the door is locked. Sure you laugh. I guess this is payback for the times when I was little and I would push a chair up to our bathroom door, slide my brother John's baseball card upward and FLING! pop open the hook to the bathroom door. My poor Mom. I'm sure she remembers this. She would say, "Don't you dare," which only made it that much more thrilling. Well, now I have a new little one who has learned the skill of using a key.

Tara has also learned how to stomp in puddles, throw snowballs, fling pillows, jump on beds and scare the cat. Thanks to her expert teacher, her brother. I must say, he is also teaching her how to say words more clearly and write letters. He is teaching her how to play the Clifford game on the computer and how great hot chocolate tastes after playing outside on a cold winter's day. She is teaching him to laugh more, talk louder and how to be responsible for someone else. Their bond grows stronger every day. It's a sweet thing to watch, even if I'm only wearing a towel.