Ukraine Adoption

A year ago

One year ago today, we drove past our precious son's school, knowing he was inside, wondering if he was thinking about our hugs good-bye that morning. Neither of us spoke. We were leaving him in the gentle care of my sister and her family, but it is so hard to leave a child behind. We were nervous, anxious, wondering if we were crazy to do this. What were we thinking?

We boarded a plane for Amsterdam, then Ukraine. We didn't know that the expected three-week adoption journey would turn into five weeks with frustrating delays of paperwork and approvals. We didn't know what our fate would hold. We met a little girl seven days later who was meant to be our daughter. We weren't crazy after all.

Tara's party

To friends and family who celebrated Tara's 3rd birthday in person or in spirit, we thank you. Your kindness and generosity (too many gifts!) have been overwhelming. Tara had a wonderful birthday weekend.

Happy Birthday Tara

Dear Tara Vika,


We can't believe you are already 3 years old today, such a big girl.

We are so proud of the way you talk, hug, share, care, love. You are such a joy and we are so happy that you are part of our family.

Love, Mommy, Daddy, Austin, and the Kitty.

PS:... anyone?

So far, so good

OK, so on Monday morning, we were putting her coat and bedding and other stuff she needs in her cubby when Tara started to squeal. I mean, squeal. I turned around to see what was up, and she started running down the hall toward her buddy Natalia, arms flailing over her head. Natalia, normally shy in the mornings, ran toward Tara with the same squeal and they slammed into each other in the sweetest embrace.

Now, they are classmates again. (Natalia moved up to the big kids group a few months ago, leaving Tara behind).

Her new teachers tell me she is doing really well. I know that she is paying attention because when we read some nursery rhymes at night, ones that I have never read to her before, she knows some of the words. I know that she is playing heartily outside because I have to wash her snow pants and coat every night (should we call them mud pants?)

I have to rely on her to tell me about her day. They don't supply a daily report sheet that details what she ate, when she slept, when she used the bathroom. That's for the baby and toddler room. Tara is learning a lot of English, it's amazing! But when she wants to tell a long story, it can be very difficult to follow. She takes shortcuts on words and phrases, blending them together. The precious expressions on her face tell us what we need to know, though.

And now, the next big adventure for Tara: She turns 3 on Friday.

Big kids

On Monday morning, Tara will walk up the flight of stairs and down the long hall with her backpack filled with extra clothes, a blanket for rest time and her pink Barbie lunch bag. She is officially a big kid now, moving out of the toddler room and into the "pre-school" area for good.

This is the big leagues. I will remind her to follow the rules, to listen to the teachers, to wait for her turn, to tell the teacher if something is wrong, and, and...

I saw these kids, they are bigger. Or maybe they just seem bigger. They write their names, they know numbers and letters. Tara knows how to write a T and an A (won't they be impressed??) These kids play on the bigger playground with swings and tall slides. Potty "accidents" are ok but frowned upon. The cubbies are bigger, the bathroom is bigger. Some of these kids are going to kindergarten in the fall. Oh my!

I asked Tara today if she wants to make the change at school. She said yes. "Cuz, I'm big girl now."

Birthday month

For many mornings in a row since Christmas, Tara would look at me with her sleepy blue eyes and say, "Birthday?" Not yet, I would tell her. She seemed so disappointed. But how do you explain days and weeks to a toddler?

Tara Vika turns 3 on Jan. 27. Wow! Our little baby girl. She is so excited for her birthday to arrive. My mom had a great suggestion: We made a calendar for January and every morning Tara puts a sticker on it. We are creeping closer to The Big Day. She seems to get it now.

This is a special time of year not only because it is Tara's first birthday with us, it is also the first anniversary of when we met Tara in the orphanage in Ukraine. We knew right away that we wanted to take her home with us, even though she would barely look at us through those tears. She seemed so tiny, so scared. She had just turned 2, and we met her a week later.

What a difference a year makes.

Good news

Yay!
The Ukraine Parliament today approved a new law that gives the National Adooption Center authority to process adoptions until the new government agency takes over on May 1. It awaits the signature of President Yushenko. This would effectively fill the gap of time. Let's hope he signs it asap, for the sake of the families in limbo and the beautiful children waiting for them!

Details are in the latest US Embassy letter, posted in the Adoption News category to the left.

Good news

Dear Members of the American Adoption Community Interested in Ukraine:
On January 12, the Rada (Ukraine's parliament) passed law 8680 giving interim authority over adoptions to the Ministry of Education's National Adoption Center (NAC) until the new adoption authority is legally established under the Ministry of Family, Youth, and Sports.

The law will come into effect as soon as it is signed by the President, who has up to 15 days to review it.

The NAC has informed us that as soon as the law is signed by the President, the center will be reopened. The NAC will then issue a notice to the adoption community regarding how families whose adoptions were suspended or whose appointments were scheduled through January may proceed. As soon as the NAC's notice is issued, we will translate it and post it on our web page, as well as send it to addressees on this e-mail list.

We strongly urge American prospective adoptive families who had previously-scheduled January appointments NOT to travel to Ukraine until such time as the NAC has issued a notice publicly confirming that those appointments will be honored.

Please continue to monitor the Embassy's web page for the current status of adoption processing in Ukraine: http://kiev.usembassy.gov/.
The Embassy will continue to track this and other adoption-related issues closely, and provide updates as appropriate. Any American adopting parents who would like to be added to our e-mail list are welcome to contact us at adoptionskiev@state.gov .

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any additional questions.
Sincerely,
Adoption Unit/Immigrant Visa Section
Consular Section
American Embassy
Kyiv, Ukraine
Tel: 38-044-4904422
Fax: 38-044-490-4570
adoptionskiev@state.gov

Jan. 11, 2006 news about the NAC

Thankfully there is a draft of a law that would allow the National Adoption Center to retain authority over adoptions until May 1, when the new adoption unit will take over. This is good news. Let's hope the Ukrainian parliament approves this asap! Here's the letter the US Embassy sent out today:

Dear Members of the American Adoption Community Interested in Ukraine:
As we reported earlier, a new law came into effect December 22, 2005, transferring authority over intercountry adoptions in Ukraine to the Ministry of Family, Youth and Sports, which will establish a new central authority called the State Department for Adoption and Protection of Children.

Unfortunately, since the former central authority (the National Adoption Center under the Ministry of Education) no longer had jurisdiction over adoptions as of December 22, and the new adoption authority under the Ministry of Family, Youth and Sports had not yet been established, a jurisdiction and processing gap was created, with no Ukrainian ministries' having the authority to handle adoptions.
The Embassy has raised the U.S. Government's concern about the sudden stoppage of adoption processing and has asked the Government of Ukraine to take steps so that families can conclude their adoptions in the best interests of the children and families affected.

According to the information we have learned, a legislative solution is required under Ukrainian law to resolve this issue. The Ukrainian parliament (Rada) is scheduled to review a draft law on this subject that would allow the NAC to retain interim authority over adoptions until May 1, 2006, at which time the new authority is expected to be in place. The Ukrainian version of the draft law is available on the official Rada website: http://www.rada.gov.ua:8080/pls/zweb/webproc4_1?id=&pf3511=26612.

Please continue to monitor the Embassy's web page for the current status of adoption processing in Ukraine: http://kiev.usembassy.gov/.
The Embassy will continue to track this and other adoption-related issues closely, and provide updates as appropriate. Any American adopting parents who are currently in Ukraine and affected by this abrupt closure are requested to e-mail us adoptionskiev@state.gov and provide your points of contact, if you have not already done so.
American prospective adoptive families who have January appointments to travel to Ukraine should not do so until such time as the Embassy has confirmed to the extent possible whether you will be able to complete the adoption process and return to the U.S. with your children in a timely manner.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any additional questions.
Sincerely,
Adoption Unit/Immigrant Visa Section
Consular Section
American Embassy
Kyiv, Ukraine
Tel: 38-044-4904422
Fax: 38-044-490-4570
adoptionskiev@state.gov

The little big girl

When I arrived at Tara's pre-school yesterday to pick her up, I didn't see her pink coat on the hook. Her little suade boots were gone, too. But the children weren't outside. One of the teachers craddling a little baby told me Tara was upstairs visiting the older kids, the 3-5 year olds. The pre-kindergarteners.

We have been preparing Tara for her move upstairs when she turns 3 in a few weeks, but I'm not sure if I prepared myself yet. We want them to grow, to learn more, to explore, to be independent. We keep telling them that they are big so they will try to do things for themselves. I have argued with Tara when she is so stubborn and determined to do something herself. I say, "Then what job will your mommy have if you get to do everything?" She thinks that's funny. She doesn't know that I'm only partly joking.

So I climbed the flight of stairs and walked down a long hallway lined with cubbies and decorated with splashes of artwork made by little hands. I could hear children singing the B-I-N-G-0 song. I peeked into the room and saw them sitting in a circle, Tara next to a teacher I hardly know yet, smiling and trying to learn the words. She saw me and smiled, hesitated to get up, and finished the song before she walked over to me. Where was that "MOMMY!" squeal that I got used to in the toddler room? I hugged her and scooped her up. She looked over her shoulder and shouted, "Bye guys!"

I think she's ready for the move up. But am I?

Celebrations and the new year

She was sound asleep when I nudged her to wake up. It was 4 pm Monday and we were already running late for yet another holiday party. I don't like to wake up children, it doesn't feel right. We spend so much time trying to get them to sleep it's a crime to make them get up. But we were excited to see some old friends (OK< I was excited, Tara just likes the idea of a party.) She quickly dressed in some party clothes and we were out the door.

This was the second party in two days, rounding out a week of endless get-togethers with friends and family. We have become professionals at grazing around the buffet tables. I haven't had to make a meal in a long time. "Fill up!" I tell my family.

Whenever we arrive, Tara does her usual shy act for the first 10 minutes, burying her face in my neck, smiling and turning away quickly. Unknowing acquaintances proclaim her to be a quiet child. "She's shy," they nod in agreement.

Moments later, she is smiling at adults, running around, playing, laughing, talking. She makes fast friends with other children. On Sunday, there was an entire, unguarded table of desserts, including candy necklaces and lollipops. The kids were all zoomed up on sugar. I was in the bathroom when I heard Tara screeching with excitment as she was being chased by a four-year-old girl. I took a long time to wash my hands. I strolled out and acted like I had no idea that could be MY child with the high-pitched scream.

At one point, our good friend the hostess walked over to me and said in a low voice: "In case you're wondering why Tara's sleeve is rolled up, I did that. She dipped her elbow in the lemon cake."

Parties, anyone?