Ukraine Adoption

Wee words

"I can't DO that."
"Bus! Truck! Caaaar!"
"One (sort of) TWO, TEE, BOUR, BIVE!"
"Sister"
"Here I am! Right here!"
"Again!"
"No, kitty!"
"Mama, help!"
"Austin! Where ARE you?"
Outside, inside, upstairs, downstairs, 1-2-3 go!

She is learning so many words and forming her own phrases. It's amazing to us that she has come this far in her communication skills.

We picked up Tara at the orphanage in Ukraine on April 8. She came home April 19. She is 2 1/2 years old. You've come a long way, baby!

Make an offer

Little Tara Vika, an orphan in Ukraine just four months ago, has experienced a truly all-American tradition: The Garage Sale.

We co-hosted the sale with our next-door neighbors; toys, clothes, strollers, sporting equipment, a pasta maker. You name it, this sale was huge! Four families dragged their stuff to the Loch's driveway (thanks, Loch's). Tara was in true form, demonstrating many of the toys that the other families brought to sell. Sure, we ended up cutting into our profits a little by making a few purchases of our own, but how could we resist the little wooden rocking chair??

We had a really big turn out, great weather, lots of community bonding. We're all a bit sunburned and exhausted. But it was a great incentive to clean out our basement and garage.

Austin was a big help setting up and carrying things to cars. He was especially helpful in pricing our items, including the sticker he put on his new little sister's back: "Make an Offer." He's good at being 10.

Parenthood

When I was scurrying out of Tara's pre-school this morning, another mom and I gave each other knowing glances and took deep breaths. We just got our daughters settled in for the day, a little boy was wailing..."I'm exhausted already and the work day hasn't even started yet," she said. "And I'm 20 minutes late." I smile, nod and look down, my skirt is wrinkled. The working parent bond strengthens.

Behave!

So I'm driving the car to work with Tara relaxing in the backseat, a movie playing on the DVD player. A peaceful moment. I tilt my rearview mirror to sneak a peek at that precious little face, those deep-set blue eyes of innocence---and realize that she is breaking up her granola bar and tossing the pieces around the back seat, with glee.

ACK! Stop! I say. She grins. She is SO good at being two, it's like she's read a handbook on the topic. She doesn't stop. I reach back behind my seat without looking and grab the granola bar out of her hands before she realizes what's happening. Pause. She let's out a big yelp. I feel mean. But I think to myself: I know you were an orphan in Ukraine, kid, but now you need to know that there are rules here!

She whimpers without tears. I tell her to let me know when she is done. She stops and says, "You're mean, Mama. Bad bad. .... Behave Mama!"

Well, now, it's good to see she is learning some more words...

Don't give up

There are some American families in Ukraine right now who are on their third appointments at the National Adoption Center, in hopes of finding their children.

There are thousands of mostly healthy children in the orphanages, but the families haven't been shown any (yet) that don't require a lot of extra physical care that they are not able to provide. We know there will be some health and social issues with orphans. We are realistic. These families, caught in the old system, remain optimistic, and so do we. We have seen many wonderful, adoptable children. They wait, every day. And no one is coming to get them.

Let's hope that when the government shuts down the NAC for a few months this fall to restructure the adoption process that they are able to set up a much better system, one that is swift and fair. One that places the orphans who are truly available into the database so that families from around the world can give them better lives, a home, parents.

See for yourselves what a difference a family makes. Our daughter Tara Vika in the orphanage (left) and now, just four months later.

Ukrainian Festival

We went to the Sunflower Ukrainian Festival on Sunday at a nearby Ukrainian Catholic church, Tara dressed in her festive outdoor wear. It was a special day. My friend Susan, a Ukrainian-American, and my neighbor Kirsten, who is 10, went with us. We saw  Ukrainian dancers from Toronto, they were fabulous; Tara Vika was mesmerized.  And we saw jewelry, clothes , artwork and other Ukrainian wares. It was almost like being back in  Kiev, only these were  a lot more expensive! I knew I should have  listened to my sister and bought more souvenirs!

At the petting farm area, we bought tickets for Kirsten and Tara to go right into the pen with the goats, rabbits, llamas and other friendly animals. They were holding food for the animals and boy, were the animals friendly! OK, too friendly, they wanted that food! Now! Like, NOW! So the girls grabbed the gate and scrambled to get out, and the worker was helping, and in all of that commotion, I turned around and somehow Susan ended up holding a runaway baby goat...!

After the dancers, the band and  tasty food, we came upon a display of lovely artwork. Rivers, trees, all kinds of things in water colors. They were all done by children living in orphanages in Ukraine. This was sort of a reality check for me. There are still so many children out there who may never find homes. I told the women there about little Tara Vika, who was hopping around and laughing. I have had her for four months, I told them as I picked her up. They started to speak to her in Ukrainian. She buried her head in my shoulder, I spun around so they could see her face, she did the same thing. I have noticed that she doesn't like when I speak Russian to her, she says, "don't want that." Maybe she is just trying to live in the present, and the future, but we won't let her forget about her past.

Ukrainian Children's Aid & Relief Effort, Inc. donates all proceeds to benefit the children. www.ucareinc.org

(More new pics in the photo album)

Do you remember?

Tara sat in my lap in her pink princess nightgown, hair slicked back from a shower. I called Austin and John into the room so they could witness her reaction. We really weren't sure what she would do, but I wanted to show her a picture on the Web of a little boy who was adopted last month from Little Birch Tree orphanage in Kiev, the same Ukraine orphanage Tara Vika is from.

The little boy, whose new American name is Nicholas, is just one day younger than Tara. We aren't sure yet if they were in the same group, but it seems like they would have been. I am trying to remember him. Nicholas' mother and I have emailed each other about similar adoption experiences. These blogs bring people together.

I did not tell her who he was or where he was from. With John and Austin hovering behind us at the computer, I pulled up the pictures taken outside at the orphanage with his new parents.

She smiled! She pointed! She shouted, "Bo!"
I asked her, is that your friend? She said, "Yes! Bo!" She was excited to see him.
Nicholas' former Ukrainian name: Bogdan. She remembered. What else does she remember?

Click here to see Nicholas.

Still getting to know you

She likes pink nail polish and back rubs, lemonade and flip flops. She loves to swim and sing. She laughs and cries easily, even at the same time. She is not a big eater, though you don't dare try to take something from her plate. She will scream!

Tara Vika likes to hop and ride her scooter in the driveway, shouting "I did it!" She likes when her big brother carries her around on his back. She insists on taking a shower every night before bedtime, she brushes her own teeth with a pink Barbie toothbrush and spits the water out with gusto.

Tara moved here from her orphanage in Ukraine nearly four months ago. We learn more about her every day. She is learning that her Mom will always come back, that her Dad knows how to tuck her in at night too, and that Austin is always up to something fun to watch.

She can be very stubborn! And demanding! And affectionate! All at the same time.

Tonight we are going to show her some pictures of a little boy named Nicholas who lived in her orphanage. He was just adopted a few months ago. He is the same age as Tara. Will she remember him?