Ukraine Adoption

Routines and rituals

Every morning during our commute, Tara sits in her car seat and nibbles on toast or a bagel, watching a movie in the DVD player. I tilt my rear view window to get a peek at her. She always catches me doing this and smiles back at me, sometimes she shows me her bagel and says, "na na-na na." It's our little joke. I put on my sunglasses, she puts hers on, usually upside down. I sip my coffee and settle into the freeway; she sips her water and slams it back into the holder. I know the words to the movie "Finding Nemo" and sometimes recite them in a goofy voice with the cartoon, Tara shouts,"no!" We both laugh. Most mornings now when we arrive at her pre-school, she waves and says goodbye, then strolls off to play with her new friends. Now I'm the one with the separation anxiety.

This morning routine is comforting to both of us since our worlds turned upside 10 weeks ago. The new American likes to know what is coming next. Don't we all? At night, our routine is well established. A shower, lotion on her arms and legs, a book or two, a song or two. Sometimes she cries a little before she falls asleep, I stand in the hallway and wait a few minutes. If I go in, this ritual will repeat over and over into the night. So I wait. Go to sleep, little angel, we'll all still be here tomorrow morning. I promise.

Weddings and birthdays

These firsts just keep coming for Tara in her 10th week as a U.S. citizen. She was so excited to go to a wedding on Saturday, even though she really wasn't sure what that meant. She was proud of her pink flowered dress and white sandals, her pink cap and sunglasses. The beautiful ceremony was outside in balmy 90 degrees. We stayed under a tent a little further away just in case Tara decided to squeal or start talking. (She did laugh out loud at a quiet time when someone made a face at her; you know who you are.)

Austin was our perfect escort, since John was out of town on business. Tara was mesmerized by the bride's lovely dress, the flowers everywhere and the large pig that was roasted and set on the buffet table nearby. Wow! And, perhaps to save the best for last..they had a chocolate fountain! I thought Austin and Tara would never leave.

On Sunday, we celebrated Austin's 10th birthday with a trip to the movies with his buddies. Happy Birthday Austin! We hope you like your new bike. And your new sister.

Cruisin'

Little Tara went for her first ride in a convertible this week. With the sun on her face and the wind in her hair, she was the picture of freedom. There were other firsts lately, as well.Her first sleep-over. Her cousin Caroline is spending the week with us and Tara loves having a teen-aged girl around!

When Austin and Caroline were on the computer in Austin's room the other night, Tara ran down the hall with nothing on after her shower and burst into the room, squealing. She loves attention! Notice the freedom theme again? (It reminds me of my brother John and the beach...doh!)

Super soaker

Good timing, high hopes

There are big changes ahead in the adoption process in Ukraine. The country announced this week that the National Adoption Center will dissolve and a new center will open under the Ministry of Family, Youth and Sports. There will be a two-month suspension on accepting new applications from families while these changes take place, though it is uncertain exactly when this will all happen. The U.S. Consulate's Office in Kiev told me in an e-mail that the U.S. has urged Ukraine to institute the planned changes as quickly as possible to allow for resumption of international adoptions.(I keep in touch with them because I remain curious about the process and have been encouraging others to adopt.)

We have heard from sources in Ukraine that this is actually good news and that the process may be streamlined and more fair across the board. We have read blogs about families spending many weeks trying to get a second appointment at the NAC when a first referral was not good (child's health not accurately reported). Then other families swoop in and out in 17 days and take their new child home with them. A reminder: we spent five weeks (!), didn't get the 30 days waived, and spent two more weeks in Ukraine. It was all worth it for our precious new daughter, but we spent much more time and essentially money than anticipated in Ukraine.

We hope this will be resolved soon -- and that those wonderful children we saw in Little Birch Tree orphanage and many others who were longing for families will be placed sooner than before, and that families won't be discouraged and give up.

Meanwhile, we are so thankful that we are done with the process and home with our awesome 2-year-old Tara Vika, who continues to blossom before our eyes. We received her official U.S.Citizenship certificate in the mail last  week. Welcome home,Tara.

Little Trooper

Just a few months out of a Ukrainian orphanage and Tara Vika knows how to go with the flow. We haul her in the car for Austin's baseball games, trips to Grandma's house, grocery shopping, graduation parties. She just goes along like it's all fun stuff. She's a little trooper. She'll sample the free crackers at the store, snack on homemade brownies at the party like they're the best thing she's ever tasted, swig down some Gatorade at the Little League baseball game in the 90-degree heat and wipe her face with her arm like the 9-year-old boys.

She's always ready for her next adventure. And so are we!

Say what?

Tara is picking up English words fairly well, just seven weeks out of Ukraine. She knows how to tell her friends to "stop!" She also says, "No, I don't want." Her previous nyet has turned into no. But she still prefers to say dah instead of yes, though it is often followed by a soft "yeth." She understands almost everything, though still resorts to whining when we don't understand her. Sometimes we hear ourselves in our children's words. She says to me: "OK, come on!"

Back in the swing of things

Monday morning arrived rather quickly after a week of relaxing and playing at the beach. We are back in the swing of our routine, though Tara put up a little fuss when I left her at pre-school. Her friends seemed glad to see her, though.

She travels like a trooper, getting on and off the plane with ease, waving good-bye to the pilot, insisting on pulling her own suitcase. Change doesn't seem to frighten her, as long as she sees our familiar faces.

A view

When we arrived last Saturday, Tara took one look at the beach and started running to it. Her enthusiasm remains, day after day. She chases the waves, then turns and squeals when they chase her back. There are so many firsts for her on this vacation and she has been approaching each one with wide eyes and pure glee. At the pool, she wanted to jump right in. Hunting for shells, she grabbed them by the handful and stuffed them in her baggy. At the beach, she filled her bucket with water, then sand, dumped it out and did it all over again, and again...

Tara met her new uncles and aunts and cousins this week. What a joyful time for her, so many people playing with her, talking to her, paying lots of attention to her. I remember a moment in Ukraine when I was watching her look out the window, trying to see something amidst the gray buildings and snow on the ground. And I see this picture of her here, at the beach house, peeking through the rails at the world beyond.