Ukraine Adoption

Resting up

Tara spent the day at home with her dad today, trying to rest and get better. She seems OK now. John re-learned the challenges of watching a 2-year-old all day. Extreme emotions! And that was just John.
Austin helped, too. He is a wonderful big brother.

A warm, first day

A little girl with short brown hair approached Tara as she stood next to me in front of her cubby at her new pre-school. "This is our new friend," the smiling teacher said. Tara stared intently, two toddlers eye-to-eye.

Going there this morning was probably harder for me than for her. She was a real trooper, after the initial five minutes of tears when I left. She played outside, snacked, listened to the piano player in music class. It's a friendly, colorful, warm, welcoming environment, almost nothing like the gray, dim orphanage that she's used to. I called twice to check on her. I want to make sure she realizes that I will always come back for her. What's in the mind of a 2 year old who was once abandoned?

At 3:15, the call came in from the pre-school. Tara has a fever. I picked her up right away, hugged her so tight, gave her some medicine, she is doing fine now. I asked her about school. She repeated, "schoooool." I asked her if she liked her school. "Yes," she replied. She is a courageous little girl.

Tall and slim

The doctor said today that Tara looks great, and she's tall and slim--and that with American food she'll be gaining weight in no time.

I have heard that you double the child's height at age two for their full grown height, which would put Tara right up there at 5 feet 8 1/2 inches tall someday. It will be so interesting to see how fast, or slow, she grows, or if that indicator is even close to being accurate. (So cousin Sally, I guess she'll be passing you up in, oh, fourth grade?)

Rainy days and fun days

It's been a rainy week and we have been mostly staying inside and reorganizing the bedrooms upstairs to make sure everyone has what they need. Tara has been a big help, throwing things in the garbage for me and dragging empty boxes down the hall; some are bigger than she is.

We have not seen any signs of her missing the orphanage or anything from her former life. When she awakens in her new room, she sits on her bed and plays with toys until I go and get her up. She likes to pick out her own clothes to wear and insists on putting them on by herself, sometimes backwards but who am I to correct such an effort? She loved the bathing suit her Aunt Michele bought her so much that we tried it on over her pajamas one night, and she insisted on sleeping in it. The next morning, forgetting how she went to bed, I was like, what the heck...?

Our neighbor Ryan speaks Russian and asked Tara what a doggy says. Tara promptly replied, "arf arf." She understands a lot of what we say to her in English, too. After a bath, which she HATES, she repeats after me: "clean."

She loves Austin and follows him around at every chance she gets. But that was no surprise to us, was it?

Close up!

Check out the sweet pictures in the photo album, taken by my sister Karen on Sunday when she came to our house (with Grandma, cousin Caroline and Uncle Mike)

Getting to know each other

She knows I must have my coffee in the morning, and she needs her cereal. We sit across from each other at the kitchen table before anyone else is up, fairly quiet, as I read the paper and she eats and draws with crayons. These are peaceful moments. The rest of the day is fairly active as Tara chases the cat and then squeals with a mixture of fear and excitement when he turns around to look at her. She's a rascal; she teases Austin by throwing something at him and then running away. She's a shy little girl; her dad looks so big to her.

She eats yogurt gracefully with a spoon; she gobbles up macaroni and cheese with her fingers and laughs when I ask her where her spoon is. She smiles and giggles when her grandma, aunt, uncle and cousin visit with brownies; she fights the nap afterward. We think she likes her new room, her new family, her new friends.
She likes smiley-face stickers, too.

New faces

There are so many new faces in Tara's life now. Some friends even cry when they see her. They got to know her so well from her pictures, and here she is in person. A little girl from a faraway land.

If you'd like to stay with us for this story of Tara Vika, we will continue to report her firsts, her fears, her new life.

Life in America

Backyard swings, hotdogs and a big brother--it's all new to Tara. She seems to be adjusting well to her new home, her family. She has already played outside with some of the toddlers in the neighborhood. She has picked out clothes at Old Navy--after running from one end of the store to the other with two pairs of little pink shorts in her hands, squealing with glee (you'd think there was a big sale or something).

We will take some pictures of her at home and post them in the next few days.

Home at last

We pushed open the front door to our home and Tara walked inside, smiling. Home at last. It had been a very long day of traveling. She strolled around a bit, from room to room. Then we took her upstairs to her butterfly bedroom. She seemed to feel right at home, patting the bed with her hands, looking at some new toys from her Aunt Karen and cousin Caroline. She sat on the little fold-out Dora the Explorer couch they bought her, she pushed the doll stroller with the bear in it. This is your new room, little one!

The journey home was long on Tuesday-- up at 5:30 am then 3 hours from Kiev to London, 2 hour layover, 7 1/2 hours from London to Detroit. Tara acted like it was her birthday or Christmas, squealing, talking, laughing, running, spilling her baggy of cereal six times-- and that was just in the Ukraine airport (the poor woman with the broom). Tara is good at being two. She was active the entire time, making passengers smile and her new mom very tired. On the seat, off the seat, spill the water, grab the plastic knife. She didn't fall asleep until the very last 90 minutes in the flight to Detroit.

They made me check the stroller at the gate in Ukraine, and that was the last I saw of it the entire day...

About 19 hours after we left our apartment in Kiev, Tara and I stood in line at Immigration in Detroit. We had to turn in sealed documents from the US Embassy in Ukraine. STAMP, STAMP, and now she is a citizen of the U.S.

Some neighbors stopped by when we were outside last night, getting some fresh air. It was so good to see everyone. They approached Tara with care; they didn't want to scare her. She seemed just fine. They will be seeing a lot more of her. Today is her first full day in her new life.

T.G.I. Monday?

There was a big crowd outside the Consulate's Office of the U.S. Embassy on this sunny Monday morning. These people were most likely waiting to get visas for the U.S. We could cut in front of all of them, Natasha said, because adoptions take priority. Natasha is not allowed inside the embassy; she and the driver always wait in the car nearby. I pushed my way through, clutching Tara in one arm and a folder of documents in the other. My U.S. passport was like gold; officials led us through the security checkpoint and to the adoption office. People in lines inside were staring at us. I tried not to make eye contact. I didn't see any other children. An older lady asked me to fill out her form for her, but I could not read the Ukrainian language.

At the adoption section, I pushed the stack of paperwork -- Tara's original birth certificate, her new one with her new name, the court decree, and several US documents that John and I had signed--across the counter under the glass, like a bank. They knew my name well; I have called many times and the FBI had contacted them about my fingerprints. My prints were cleared late Friday(!) they told me, but they had not received the clearance on John's yet!

They proceeded with the visa process anyway in hopes that the state department in Moscow (don't ask) would respond to their e-mail inquiry about John's fingerprints taken in the U.S. last week. The official interviewed me, as is the process, asking how much I knew about Tara's past, how long we had to stay in Ukraine (both times) and whether I realized she would retain her Ukrainian citizenship (as well as US) until she is 18.

With the paperwork and interview completed and the fee paid, I shlepped out of the embassy with plans to call them back at 1 pm to check on John's prints. I had high hopes.

At 10 minutes to 1 pm, I called and they said, "His prints cleared. You are all set. The visa will be ready at 4 pm."

We're coming home tomorrow!

(Tara in my shoes)

Sundays are for...

We spent much of today just lollying about, at the park and the mall and the plaza. Then we both settled in for a springtime nap. It's nearly dinnertime and we are going to the Potato House, where Tara is keen on the mozzarella and butter baked potato. They tell me orphans will eat any and everything, but she does not like McDonald's chicken nuggets or pizza at the mall. Maybe I will have to learn how to make borsht? (a little help, Mom?)

The circus last night was a lot of old-fashioned fun, from ice cream cones to scary clowns. Tara sat on my lap the whole time, she didn't seem scared. The venue was small and we were in the 4th row, so the performers were practically over our heads for the high-ropes and swings.

The embassy appointment is at 9 am Monday, so it's early to bed tonight. We are used to sleeping in.

How's this for a soft entry? Isn't that what Sundays are supposed to be about?

The circus!

We are going to the Russian circus this evening (morning for those in eastern zone) with Natasha and her boyfriend Oleg. I'm sure Tara has never been to the circus! We wonder if she will sit still in awe or try to run around. Or be scared!

I found Tara at the cosmetic bag station this morning, with powder on her little face. What a cutie. She wants to do everything I do. I think she is amazed to have so much contact with one grownup all the time.

AUSTIN: I will be home soon! I can't wait to watch your baseball games.

Toddlerville

I am living in Toddlerville. We have little areas of play set up throughout the apartment. Here by the door is where we look at books. Over here, we sit on the floor and go through my cosmetic bag, one item at a time. In the corner by the bed is a stack of photos that are bent and folded as though they've been slept upon (they have). The damp shirts drying on the clothes rack serve as a great tent. The coffee table in front of the couch holds the laptop, this is Mama's Area, a NO TOUCH zone. NYET. NO. TARA!

This little girl is a sweet kid, amusing herself much of the time while humming and squealing with glee. She sleeps 10-11 hours a night, takes 2 hour naps, and eats fairly well. We had a toddler melt down today outside when she swung her bag of cookies (Tara, be careful!) and they all fell on the ground. The birds swarmed. She screamed. It looked like I was kidnapping her when I hauled her away.

I had to wake her from her nap early today to rush to the airline office and change our Sunday tickets to Tuesday morning. The fingerprints should be cleared (fingers crossed) today but the time difference was just too much.(Thanks for all of your help sister Karen! The embassy must think I'm important or something, with the FBI telling them they are rushing these) So now our appointment at the embassy is at 9 am Monday. We will do some touristy things Saturday and Sunday, with the help of Natasha, and then the appointment, pack, and hopefully have our behinds on the plane home Tuesday. I will take the stoller to the plane for easier travel. I think they'll check it at the door.

Power trip

So we learned that the electricity would be turned off in our apartment building today between 10 am and 3 pm for some kind of repairs, meaning we'd have to use the dark stairs for the six flights. So Tara and I packed a bag of treats and toys and the stroller and happily headed for the elevator at 9:30 am to wander around outside for a good chunk of the day. We went to a beautiful miles-long trail on a hillside with a view of Dnipro River. Quite lovely. Kicking a ball around and eating snacks among the trees isn't so bad.

Well that used up about 60 minutes. We swung by the building, very dark! So we kept going into downtown, very crowded this time of day. McDonalds for lunch worked out well because we ran into an American woman who just adopted an 11 year old girl, who was with her. The McDonald's manager gave Tara a yellow balloon on a stick that says: I heart McDonalds (in Ukrainian).

It started to get warmer outside. I carried her umbrella stroller, my bag, her balloon on a stick that was flapping in my face, and we went down two flights of stairs to the underground crossing (very busy road) and back up two flights on the other side of the road--same way, stupid balloon, to get to the plaza.

Walking briskly on the plaza, because that's how everyone walks, I took off my long black rain coat and flapped it over the stroller, which nearly tipped it. We found a large ledge to sit on. I put on my coat. By then, Tara's red coat was quite dirty from a tumble she took at the trail, my black coat had white tire marks and foot prints from being run over by the stroller and me, her teeth were blue from a lollipop she found in our bag. She kept looking in the garbage can. The balloon was trying to escape our bag. We both looked a bit of a wreck. I was holding my cup from McDonalds, smiling in the sun. It was then that I realized we looked like we were beggers!

The power is back on and we are restored as well. My fingerprints are being delivered to the state department in DC this moring (eastern time) so with ANY LUCK at all, they will ship them immediately to the FBI and then the results will be emailed to the embassy here by tomorow. But wow, that's really cutting it close. If we're not home Sunday, Tuesday would be the next likely day. Meanwhile, we're getting to know each other better each day. I'm trying to get Tara to sing, maybe we'll make some money on the ledge tomorrow.

A day in the life...

She opens her eyes, looks confused as the sun brightens the room, stumbles out of bed and staggers to the bathroom. Where am I? That was just Sally this morning at 5:30 am, getting ready to catch her plane home.

Tara is doing just fine. We went to the park this afternoon where she loved playing in the sand, which seemed very unfamiliar to her.

We now have everything that makes the adoption complete and official, right down to her Ukraine passport with a mug shot  that makes her look like she's wanted in five countries. She had a physical exam at the clinic today, which is required by the U.S. embassy. So now...we're just waiting for the fingerprints to process in order to get Tara's visa.

Tara turned 2 on Jan. 27, so she is still a young 2. She has been talking a lot (sometimes constantly!) and has been trying to learn English words. At the doctor's office, I told her to say Mama, Papa, Yes. And she repeated each one carefully and smiled. The doctor said that developmentally, she is right on schedule for her age. She weighs about 22 pounds. Communicating with each other is borderline comical. She says 15 Russian words to me and I nod and start handing her stuff until she says, "da." I say 15 words to her and she spins around trying to figure out what I mean. I point, she points, we gesture. But we get by. She is learning fast.

We miss having Sally here. And I miss Austin SO MUCH! You too John. I will email you a to-do list to keep you busy.

Fingerprints, tickets and Sally

We went to the airlines office today to change our tickets, but they didn't have any available seats for Saturday so Sally is going to go home tomorrow after all. She has to work Monday. I got tickets for Tara and me for Sunday; I hope it's not just wishful thinking. We stocked up on groceries for us (don't worry Mom).

We are dealing with our fingerprints and the embassy. They promise to put a rush on this.

Tara is being her sweet, funny and silly self. She is becoming more and more like a two-year-old American--more demanding and persistent. She is also very helpful. Today as I put on my shoes, she ran to the bed and got my sweater and brought it to me. She is walking around with a kitchen towel that she keeps folding to perfection, drawing applause from Sally and me every time. She tucks it under her chin to even out the sides. A household helper! Her laughter is loud and frequent. She does not like to have things taken away from her (who does?)

OK, so due to popular demand (Sally's mother--Aunt Ellen), here's a picture of Sally and Tara!

Stuck in Ukraine part II

The day started out quickly as we ran a few more errands for Tara's Ukraine passport. Then the call came in from the U.S. Embassy: Our FBI/immigration fingerprints expired last week (though I assured them we have the same fingers now). These are necessary to get the visa for Tara to go to the U.S.

So I threw on my long black raincoat that looks like a cape when I run (yes it does) and scurried down the block to find a taxi at 4 p.m. to rush me to the U.S. consulate's office. I found a driver who didn't speak a lick of English, but I guess my gestures were enough because he took me there and waited for me as the official rolled my fingers in black ink. John has to go to the immigration office in Detroit pronto to get his fingerprints done again, and then it can take anywhere from "a few days" to "a week" to process and get the go-ahead from the immigration office to the U.S. embassy here. In other words, we won't be on the plane for home Wednesday...

We're trying to be optimistic and aim for the weekend. Sally has gracefully volunteered to stay until Saturday with us. Thanks Sal!

Tara has continued to shine in her life of freedom. She struts around in stores and looks at price tags after I do. She does this silly singing when she's playing. And seems to look for excuses to laugh. We needed that today after the call from the embassy.

So it was cool and drizzly earlier this afternoon but we decided to go to the lavra anyway so Sally can see the monks in coffins. But when we arrived, it was closed. Apparently someone got hit in the head with a piece of concrete or something that fell from a dilapitated building last weekend! So we're going to see if it reopens in the next day or two and we told Sally she can just take an umbrella and watch out for falling cement.

Tara Vika made her first trip to a toy store today. She touched all the books and puzzles, one at a time, and tried to put them right back where she found them.

At night, she takes all of the pictures of our family out of her little album, spreads them around and lays on top of them. She is getting to know everyone through dreams, I think.

A sunny Sunday

So many firsts

Tara woke up today with a smile and it has pretty much lasted all day. She has blossomed in just one day from a shy orphan to a very giggly girl. She is very playful. And when it was naptime (mostly for Sally and me, still recovering from major jetlag) we told Tara it was time to sleep. She put her toys down and walked over to the bed, where she slept for three hours (!) I guess all of this attention wore her out.

It's been a day of firsts for the little girl, from a trip to McDonalds to hanging out at the Internet cafe with her mom and funny 2nd cousin Sally.

We are unable to post any pictures today, but we hope to do that soon with Natasha's laptop.

Tomorrow we plan to go to the catacombs so Sally can check out the monks. I think Tara and I will hang out outside and hope that Sally makes it out of there.

AUSTIN: I miss you so much!

Little Tara Vika

Dear John: I watched our new daughter fall asleep tonight. In our apartment. She has the face of an angel.

It's been a long, exhausting, wonderful day. We started out early and ended late, with a bunch of stops along the way. (John, you know these kinds of days; Sally says she hasn't done this much all year). But we picked up a birth certificate that names us as parents, and went to the notary's office, the authentication office, the Ukraine passport office,these are the only ones I can remember. Each stop, I signed my name, knowing I was just one step closer...

By 3 pm, we arrived at Little Birch Tree orphanage. The caregiver gently prodded Tara to wake up from her nap. She walked into the hallway, sleepy-eyed with messy hair, and came right to me. She remembered.

Sally was very quiet. I asked her if she was OK. She could barely talk. This was the first time for her to see Tara. "She's so little," she finally managed to saÿ, "and beautiful."

We quickly changed Tara into the new clothes we brought for her. Orphans aren't supposed to take anything with them, not even their clothes. She looked so sweet in pink.

Everyone wished us good health and happiness. The orphanage doctor kissed me on the cheek three times, as is custom. The orphanage director hugged me so tight I could hardly breathe. "God will bless your family," he said.

I scooped up Tara and said, "home" to her in Russian. We walked out, single file, Natasha, me holding Tara closely, and Sally following, smiling.

We made it!

Our flight from Detroit was delayed two hours so we missed our connection in London. Not to fear, we took a little detour through Prague and made it to Ukraine at 8 pm (1 pm eastern US time)---just three hours later than planned.

We are exhausted!! Sally is barely coherent. I'm doing OK. Hah.

Quick update before we pass out: Natasha picked up the court decree yesterday, meaning we can take immediate custody of Tara, which means we will pick her up from the orphanage tomorrow!

We are in the same lovely apartment John and I spent 5 weeks in. We may find another one in a day or two.

We were just walking in the town square to find a money exchange booth that is open late, some water, and an Internet cafe when Sally was (allegedly) propositioned by some guy whom she says (allegedly) tapped her behind. I didn't see any of this. Maybe she is hallucinating because we are so dehydrated. (I made her RUN in the airport, we had 10 minutes to get to the gate in Prague).

Tomorrow, we get the new birth certificate for Tara and then we pick her up. I wonder if she realizes this is her last night in an orphanage.

We leave today

This is it. The 30-day waiting period has come and gone and my cousin and I will board a flight this evening to London, then Kiev. We'll arrive in Kiev at 5 pm local time Thursday, that's 10 am eastern US time.

The things that need to be done in Kiev: Natasha will pick up the court decree (hopefully today) and then we need a Ukraine visa and passport and a U.S. passport for Tara (rhymes with Sarah.) We HOPE to pick up Tara on Friday. We hope to get everything done swiftly; we plan to return on Wednesday. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

It will be interesting to see what type of apartment we will have. I requested one in downtown Kiev, with two beds, unlike the flat John and I stayed in for 5 weeks. (We are close cousins, but not that close. Hah)

If we find an Internet cafe in London, I will be in touch. Otherwise, I'll write when we arrive in Kiev. Here we go!

The catacombs

Here is some information on the catacombs in Kiev (no actual crawling involved, just low ceilings with very small passageways):

Kiyevo-Pecherska Lavra, cave monastery founded in 1051 by monks Anthony and Theodosius, in the catacombs where one can see the "holy relics" of the most spiritually advanced monks. It comprises a whole series of churches, cathedrals and monuments.

Among them are: the Trinity Church, built over the entrance gate, which dates from 1108; the walls of the Upper Monastery, built between 1698 and 1701; All Saints' Church (17th century), built over another gateway; the unimaginably high monastery belfry, built in 1731-45. Outside the complex of buildings stands the ancient church, built early in the 12th century by Prince Volodymyr [Vladimir] Monomakh as a burial place for the princes of Kyiv.

Packing, planning

The forecast for Kiev this week: 60 degrees. Nice! That sure will beat the Siberia weather we had in February when I was layering three sweaters under my coat--not unlike the children at the orphanage.

So I have a Dora the Explorer coloring book with big crayons, a puppet, some books, Play-doh, a small doll and a few other items for Tara to play with at the apartment and on the plane. I'm running out of room in my suitcase!

Natasha told me today that she is lining up an apartment for us in downtown Kiev, near the square. We should be close to the mall, the outdoor market and other shops. On the weekend, we hope to visit the catacombs where the monks are laid out. Well, Sally wants to crawl through there with those skinny candles, I'll probably stand outside and wait this time...

Tara's room

There are lots of butterflies in Tara's room. Big, bright butterflies on her quilt and vallances. She won't be used to having her own space. As welcoming as it may be, I have warned Austin that she may sneak into his room and sleep on his couch. I think he'll be OK with that (until the novelty wears off!)I am waiting for my niece Caroline to draw or paint some butterflies that I can frame for Tara's walls. She's a great artist (hint hint!)

Here is a picture of the quilt from the store's website: 

The countdown is underway. Three more days.

Getting ready...

Only a few more days to get everything ready for the trip. My friend Heather was kind enough to give us some little girls' clothes that her daughter outgrew. Cute stuff! Also picked up a few things at the store today for Tara, seems like everything is pink in the girls' department.

When we visited her at the orphanage last month, she really liked trying on the clothes we bought for her. Wait until she sees her new wardrobe (!)

Now I'm trying to figure out what to take for Tara to play with at the apartment and, even moreso, on the long plane ride to the U.S. Maybe I'll just let her play with Sally's Play-doh, slinky and yo-yo.

Part II of this journey

It's hard to know what to say when you are less than a week away from picking up your little daughter in another country. I hope she didn't feel like she was abandoned again when we left nearly 30 days ago.

My cousin Sally is going with me, she says it's an adventure of a lifetime(!) John will stay home with our precious son Austin. Sally and I are leaving on Wednesday (April 6) and will arrive in Kiev on Thursday, with a stop in London. We hope to return to the U.S., all three of us, the following Wednesday.

Regular entries will resume here today, so stay tuned! And feel free to leave comments. I think Sally is really going to like the sausage croissants. That'll be our first stop...