Ukraine Adoption

We have a court date

The judge set our adoption hearing for 12:30 p.m. Thursday. (That's 5:30 a.m. Eastern Time.) We can almost see the finish line.
We are hoping the judge will allow us to take immediate custody of Tara. There is a possibility that the judge will approve it but make us return in 30 days for her. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

On Sunday, we toured a church compound that was built 900 years ago. Wow! Monks who had lived there built these catacombs, underground tunnels. They lived in there and most had only bread and water. There is a tiny prayer area. At least one monk chose to live his life in an area that had only one hole about 8 inches in diameter in which bread and water was placed each day. When the monk no longer took the food, they assumed he was dead and closed up the hole.

Several monks' bodies are in these little glass caskets throughout the catacomb. There is no electricity down there; we got skinny candles and skulked around. The ceiling was quite low. This was not for the claustrophobic! Many people were stopping to kiss the caskets. Some of the bodies had hands sticking out of the decorative robes. Just wow.

John says he feels like a monk here, trapped in our apartment. I told him to watch out or I will lock him in the bathroom and slip him bread and water.

Internet cafes, hold the sausage

We have learned that the population of Kiev is more than 2 million, and I'm convinced that most of them are out on the streets and in the malls at all times. I'm not quite sure when they work, exactly. Or sleep.

I'm in an Internet cafe on Main Street on a Saturday evening and it's nearly full. A man behind me is looking at a German-language Web page. Outside, the huge speakers on the light poles are blaring music and, alternately, a speech by someone. Maybe the prime minister? Or the president? Or a DJ? It has sort of an eerie effect, like some left-over function of the Soviet Union.

Our experiences with restaurants have improved. I have managed to keep sausage, and most other meats, out of my meals...!

We didn't have a chance to visit Tara today, one of our drivers was sick, the other unavailable. We will aim for a Sunday visit. Some orphanages don't allow weekend visits; we are lucky that the Little Birch Tree is open to adoptive parents every day.

Austin: You are always on our minds!

Step by step

We must wait until Monday to set a court date. The judge took the paperwork today and said it will be processed and to return to set the date. So we are hopeful (!) that the hearing will be within a day or two of that. This is step by step, as we know it. We are so close.

It's nice to see your kind thoughts and your funny suggestions!

Waiting for the letter

We sat quietly in our apartment this afternoon with our coats on, waiting for a 2:30 p.m. pickup to go to the adoption center. At 3 p.m. I called Natasha. She was on her way. She had called the center and learned that our letter should be ready at 3:55 p.m. We did not want to get too excited. We know how these things can go.

We arrived at 3:40 p.m., climbed the three flights of stairs and sat in the small waiting room with other families and facilitators. The center's door opened, they called our name and Natasha went in alone. She came out in less than five minutes….with our letter recommending that the court approve our adoption of Tara Vika. :-)

The letter says that this adoption "is in the best interest of the child."

We will go to the Kiev court at 8 a.m. Friday and ask the judge to set up a hearing for us as soon as possible. Maybe Monday?

We visited Tara after we got the letter. She doesn't know about these processes. She doesn't know about courts and complicated paperwork. She hasn't had any visitors since she was placed in the orphanage at 10 months old. Until we came along.

Hump day

The children at the orphanage recognize us when we visit. We already have our favorites (besides Tara, of course). They run up to us and say all kinds of things in Russian (we think, or is it Ukrainian??)

We look to Thursday to press on.

Karen: You can take Austin to the scary movie if you are prepared to be up with him through the night!

She runs to us

What a difference, from the first day we saw Tara to today. Always, it takes about 10 minutes for her to warm up. Then she is silly and playful. She is good at being 2. She already knows what we mean when we say: "Again?" She gives a hard nod yes. She likes to wear us out!

We hope to have actual news soon. Thanks for your support!

Here is another short video taken today

Sigh!

We wish we had news today but we don't. For some unknown reason, the director of the Ukraine adoption center didn't sign our letter for the court today, or the letters for about 20 other families.

She only signs these letters on Mondays and Thursdays, though we will beg for her to sign the letter over the next few days... She is very rigid on the days she signs these letters so our chances are slim.  We feel like we are in the electric chair waiting for a call from the governor.

Once this letter is signed, it goes to the court and they set a hearing date.

AUSTIN: I'm glad you had a snow day today! We are having a no day, as in nothing happened in this process today. But I guess I already said that.

A little of this, a little of that

We stopped in a pharmacy today to pick up some supplies. They keep everything behind glass here. I mean everything, including Band-aids. I opened the cabinet and took a pack out and a clerk came out of nowhere, grabbed them from me and put them back behind the glass. I had to tell her what I want, she wrote it down on a little piece of paper, I got in line and showed the paper to the cashier and paid her. She gave me a receipt and I had to find someone in the store to gather the items I bought and give them to me in a bag. Whew! And we wonder why the adoption process takes so long!

We had dinner with an American couple, Bruce and Kerry, who are also here to adopt. They are getting on a train at 8 am Sunday to go back to the region where their daughter-to-be lives. At the restaurant, the host walked around with a microphone, playing games with the diners. A pretty, young woman asked John and Bruce for their right shoes. She was in a contest with her friend. Both girls managed to collect 6 shoes, but our girl convinced the judge that she should win because "I had two foreigners!" Everyone looked at us. So much for blending in...

Tara was happy to see us this afternoon. I'm not sure who has more fun running around the table, Tara or John.

TGIF

Her tiny finger digs into the raisin box and pulls one out. She doesn't know that we brought them from a place far away. She eats them all very carefully, one by one. We should have brought more with us!

Other children walk down the hall in their groups, but one always manages to break away to see what we're up to in the play area. "Papa!" a little boy calls out to John. They call all men Papa and women Mama. It makes you want to take them all home. The little blond boy about three years old wants a raisin. John slips him a few and he smiles.

Many of these adorable children are not "available" for adoption because their mothers have not signed release agreements or some relatives still visit them regularly. The orphanage has hopes that they will return to their families some day, but many have been there for years. They are well cared for, we have seen this on our frequent visits. They are very disciplined and listen to directions. They are too young to remember any other kind of life.

Meanwhile, we are managing our days between appointments. And yes, we have discovered why beer and vodka are plentiful here!

A giggly girl

She giggles. It's a sweet, soft sound, almost like a tee-hee. We visited Tara today and she was in a splendid mood for us. She really showed her mischevious side, too, running back and forth and stomping her feet. She can give John a great, playful evil eye, just like I do. Hah. Quite entertaining.

She is too little to understand the difference between Ukraine and America, but she seems to realize that we are part of her life somehow.

We were told today that we will get the letter from the adoption center on Monday. Then court maybe the following day? We are pushing this along as fast as we can.

If you have a fast Internet connection you might be able to view this short video of Laura playing with Tara.
John

Puddles and processes

We strolled along the street this afternoon, mainly to get some fresh air. Temperatures hovered at 40 degrees and Kiev was melting. Water everywhere. John enjoyed showing off his newly-waterproofed shoes.

We turned in our letter from the inspector recommending adoption to the adoption center yesterday and we hope the center will give us an official letter that we then take to the court. Hard to follow that? You're not alone. These steps are confusing at times and we get pulled in different directions.

We both caught colds, so that's a lovely addition to the trip! (cough, hack)  We are hanging in there, though. We didn't go to the orphanage today because we thought we were going to another appointment, which then got changed to tomorrow. Probably better, though, because we don't want to wander through the orphanage with colds.

Glad to see y'all hanging in there with us!

Austin we miss you! Glad you're doing ok at Grandma's house.

Shuffling around

Your comments are getting wacky!
No news today, just going through the motions. We found a place that sells DVDs that have English versions. This was a big find. We couldn't take those Russian-dubbed movies on TV anymore. It's just not right, hearing Meg Ryan speaking Russian in "When Harry Met Sally." This was really on TV.

I'm distracted because John is waving a towel in the bathroom doorway to get steam from the shower into our apartment, which is very dry! This is entertainment in Ukraine. Now it's my turn to wave the towel.

The little girl's name

Plodding along in the freshly fallen snow, we found the outdoor market on our own today. We bartered and bought some cool stuff, including something for my sister that I have no idea how I’m going to bring home. (No, it’s not a Ukrainian soldier).

Oh by the way, if all goes smoothly, the little girl's name will be: Tara Vika. (Her given name is pronounced VEEka.)

Old stories, Lassie Come Home

Weekends in Kiev would definitely be a lot more interesting and fun in the summer. We are trying to fill our time in spite of the cold. We wish we would have brought more DVDs because we are running out and we only have Russian language television and BBC. But how many times can they dwell on Prince Charles and Camilla's plans to wed???!

We visited the little girl this morning and took her outside for once because it's about 32 degrees here.  They put layers upon layers on this poor child. Orphanages are known for this. She had a hat on top of a hat with a hood over it, four layers of clothes AND a big, heavy coat, all topped off with a bright yellow scarf tied tightly around her neck. This poor thing could hardly walk without toppling over. She lasted about 15 minutes out there before she had enough. She was so bundled up that she couldn't reach her mouth to put a raisin in it.

Inside, she played with us again. A real cutie.

So. Sigh. We hang out. And hang out some more. We try to entertain each other when we see that the other is slipping. John and I start sentences with each other that begin much like this: "Did I tell you the story about when I was in fifth grade and ..." "YES. You told me that one."

So we wait til Monday for the process to continue. We try to find things to do. These are the difficult times during the trip. We met a couple from New York today, they are working with Natasha's friend. They must return to their region on Monday, which is about a 3- hour train trip. We still feel quite fortunate to be assigned to the orphanage in the big city. They were very nice, they can sure talk!

John says he's ready to escape this place. He says he will wrap his feet in bath towels and walk over the Alps to Switzerland to try to get out, like Lassie. I'm not even sure if that is geographically correct but at this point it doesn't matter.

Adventures in eating

It was dark and we were cold and hungry. Many buildings on the side streets of downtown are brick and non-descript. We spotted a place called Potato House and saw people eating inside so we stumbled in. There were only two of us; Natasha had left for the day. I tried to remember the right words in Russian. Peeling off our hats and gloves, I asked the waitress at the counter in Russian if she spoke English. “Mmmm, a little.” So I asked for a “potato.” (There is a big oven near her with dozens of baked potatoes stuffed with cheese, mushrooms, you name it). She didn’t know what I was saying. “A Po-Ta-To" I said slower, like that would make a difference. She shook her head. John looked concerned and hungrier. Too bad I left my little Russian/English handbook at the apartment.

A young man in line behind us scolded the cashier in Russian. “You are called POTATO House!” he said. He was probably getting hungrier too. Then it came to toppings. I just nodded my head. How can you mess up a potato? So we found a table and began to eat. After two bites, I realized my potato had sausage in it. Blech!!!! (I don’t eat red meat)

This is the second time we got something accidentally with sausage in it. Last week at a coffee house, I sent John to the counter to buy two cherry croissants. How hard can it be, they were in the window. I told him to point. A few minutes later, the waitress brought us two croissants warmed up on a plate. I sliced mine open; sausage!!

We walked around a lot this afternoon. There are many (!) underground malls downtown. On the steps to the malls, there is often a singer with a guitar and two friends collecting money in a hat. Other times, there are some older women with cups. There is one woman who sits there day after day with a baby. Many people place coins in her cup. We don’t know how she can stand the cold. There are not a lot of beggars, but always the same ones. Sometimes a child will tell you they are from an orphanage and need money for food. But their mother or grandmother is always nearby. We see her standing there. Natasha calls them gypsies and doesn’t give money to them anymore. It is hard to turn a child away, though.

Speaking of a child, we visited the sweet little girl this morning. At first, she was very shy with us again. Then John stood in front of her and then ran around her real silly and she started to smile. He then stood in front of her and imitated everything she did. Raise the arms, put the arms behind her back, tilt her head to the left, then right. She loved this! She was smiling like we had never seen before with us. She was silly, shuffling her feet forward then back, and he would do the same. She would turn around and then watch John turn. Very playful. This went on for a long time, as 2-year-olds love to do things over and OVER. John was worn out. Then it was my turn, and I stood behind her and lifted her up to kiss her forehead upside down over and over (can you picture that?) She was grinning with a full smile that lit up her face. She has a lot of teeth!

The blood tests came back today and she has no diseases or illnesses and her blood count is normal. Yay! The doctors that examined her (psychologist, neurologist, MD, etc) say she is healthy. We know we still have many challenges with any institutionalized child, we are not naïve. Though it sure helps to get these results. We still have official documents to gather and appointments to make next week...

Austin, we miss you more each day!

Kids are like cats

Our paperwork is plodding through the system, enlisting various signatures and approvals. We visited the little girl again today. She is still shy and not sure why we keep coming. But she is warming up to us.

We are glad y'all liked the pictures yesterday and added some to the photo album today. We like watching her play with her friends; she can be very animated. We are trying to take pictures of more of the children but it's like trying to take pictures of cats. They do something cute and then scatter.

As for the locked door, brother David and sister Karen: the hinges are on the outside of our door and they are coated in steel! Impossible to penetrate. You should see doors here, they're huge and heavy! They replaced the lock today.

Love all of your comments!

Inside the out door

We started out our day locked inside our apartment! The lock on the old steel door was jammed. We tried to shimmy, and jiggle, and shake it. It was 9 am and we had two appointments before we were to head to the orphanage for the third straight day to visit the little girl with the blue eyes. Natasha called. She was waiting in the car downstairs. Help! We threw the key to her in a plastic bottle from the 6th floor. Maybe it will open from the outside. Natasha slipped on the snow to try to get to the bottle with the key, she got the driver to help. They both raced up the elevator to our door but couldn't open it from the outside. The landlord was called. We had to wait two hours as Alina, Natasha, Lian (the driver) on the outside and John and me on the inside dismantled the lock using scissors, a knife and whatever else we could find. "Does this happen to all of your Amercan families?'' John asked Natasha. We had a good chuckle about this all day, as we waited for the notary public to draw up documents for us. Then the inspector, then to the orphanage attorney.

We are waiting for medical tests to come back on the little girl. Her doctors tell us they feel she is fine. She is alert and playful with her friends and she is saying some words.

We missed our appointment for a visit this morning so Natasha called the orphanage and asked for permission to come at 3 pm instead. Yay!

The little girl ran toward us in the hall, then breezed by us to the potty room. They all sit on little potties at the same time, lined up against the wall. We spent some time with her in a play area and then watched her play with her friends. She is very comfortable around the other kids, even bonked a boy on the head with her stuffed bunny.

OK. Here she is.

Little girl

We sat in a small office as the orphanage doctor and Natasha spoke quickly in Russian. It was our third stop of the morning on Monday. Natasha paused to translate to us. "They are getting the girl," she said. We waited on a small sofa. We could hear children bustling in the hall on their way to lunch. Finally, in what seemed like hours but was probably only minutes, the door opened slowly and a hesitant little girl with big blue eyes and light brown hair walked in. She just stared. She was shy. She didn't know what to make of us. She is only 2 years old and she might have a new home. 

How cold is it?

It's so cold, that we have to get ourselves psyched up to conquer a walk! We hustle up and down snowy, icy hills in the bright sunshine. A lot of people walk wherever they go. They are used to this. Michigan seems warm!

We tried to fill our day today with a little touring of the city. We saw some churches built in 900. Just amazing. The chapel areas are open to the public. People file in all day to light candles and place them in a particular area with statues and drawings of saints, for whatever it is they are praying for. One for health, one for lost loved ones, etc. We saw five different wedding parties at the same church, all posing for pictures in like, 5 degrees. The brides were beautiful!

We stopped at an outdoor market and bought John a furry hat. The pics are ones that he tried on for fun, but the one he bought is black. Our neighbors will be envious when he is clearing snow from our driveway! He was really making the merchant laugh, trying on various fur hats. How do they work outside all day in this cold? They also had old army items, including helmets and a green, long wool coat from the Ukraine army. If we have a warmer day this week, we'll stroll back over there and look some more.

Natasha and her boyfriend, Oleg, took us to a great Ukrainian restaurant that was cafeteria style. We tried the native cuisine, including borst (beet soup), pierogi, kapusta and all kinds of other dishes. We were stuffed!

We're not sure whether we're going to go the pub to watch the Super Bowl at midnight tonight. We have a 10 am Monday appointment with the inspector (oversees children's well-being) then we are supposed to head to the orphanage. Delays are a way of life in this process, so we never count on anything until it actually happens. Sorry for the suspense! We will tell more tommorrow. Like her age...Really!

Hanging out on Saturday

Today we are hoping to get out and see more of Kiev and beyond. We have been spending much of our time in the downtown area where people's spirits seem to be fairly high since the new president, Yushenko, was elected. They see new hope for their country. Everywhere we went yesterday, the parliament proceedings were on TV or the radio, very loud. Even at the NAC. The members were interviewing the new prime minister, the first woman ever in that role! It reminded us of the Condoleeza Rice grillings.

We are planning to check out some of the old Orthodox churches today. They are huge and beautiful on the outside. They dominate the cityscape.

More later! Thanks for staying tuned. This journey can be a bit emotional and y'all are providing us with great distractions.

Bundling up and heading out!

Appointment, apartment, pub

Hey friends and family, your comments are really making us laugh!

We had to go to the adoption center this afternoon to get the finalized stack of sealed documents (our dossier) with a formal letter signed by the director that officially refers us to this particular child before we could actually see the child. By the time we got it this afternoon (much relief!) it was too late to go to the orphanage. Bummer!

The good news is, we shouldn't have to go back to the NAC anymore, if we decide this is the right child for us. The process would wind us through a physician's office, a courtroom and the U.S. Embassy--the last stop. But I'm getting ahead of things. The real challenge will come after we meet her. We'll have to wait til Monday for that...

Meanwhile, we moved again. The landlord wanted to raise the price on that cool one-bedroom place so we packed up all of our stuff and moved into one of her other apartments. Our awesome driver Sergei wound us through traffic like New York City to get us here. This place is smaller but it's even closer to downtown, and it's almost half the price.

John and I found an Irish pub up the road where the waitresses understand English. They are advertising that they'll show the Super Bowl, but it will start at midnight Sunday. We are 7 hours ahead of Michigan. So we are contemplating whether we want to brave the really cold temps and tromp through the snow to our apartment at 3 am when the game ends...We're told there is very little crime this time of year. Can you see a potential mugger hiding in the bushes, frozen to death?

I bought a handmade leather and fur hat (see pic) and boots, so don't worry, cousin Sally, I'm staying warm!

Oh, we went to a big grocery store today and there was a guy in a black leather jacket standing in the lobby, swigging down a beer. This is legal here!

Austin: I hope you had fun at Eli's house. We miss you so much!

Kiev is cool

Our first apartment was in a working class part of Kiev (see photos). We wanted to be closer to the city. So we moved to this very lovely apartment downtown. We can walk everywhere. John says Kiev is like New York and New Orleans rolled into one. Last night, he went for a walk and found a beer booth on a corner. Yes, they are outside selling beer in the winter! John says this is the life.

OK< we were waiting for some paperwork from the adoption center but the director didn't have time to sign them today so we are supposed to get them tomorrow (Fri.) We are used to the hurry up and wait system; we've been dealing with it for a year. So we still hope to visit the girl tomorrow. And this is one of the great parts: she is in an orphanage right here in Kiev. This means no long train rides across the country!

Meanwhile, we are enjoying the city. We layer up and walk around, the sidewalks are very crowded with people bundled up, talking and laughing. On the weekends, they close off the main roads downtown so that people can walk in the streets. I have been ordering food for us in Russian.

I asked a guy on the street where I could buy a hat; I could say everything but hat, so I gestured. He thought I wanted a hair cut. I asked an older lady selling candy (yes, outside) and she grunted and pointed toward these stairs leading to what looked like a subway. We figured she was just kooky. Much later in the day, we went down those stairs and found a huge shopping mall! It was really hopping, a big hang out. It has a McDonalds, Baskin Robbins, you name it. It was right under our noses and we didn't realize it. Like a city under a city. Pretty cool.

Your comments are cracking me up, and your support is wonderful. More details tomorrow. Really!

The NAC appointment

We waited nearly 2 hours for our appointment, which lasted about 15 minutes. Girls are hard to find here, there are more boys available. I will hold you in suspense until the end of this entry...

The National Adoption Center is in an old building with dark hallways. We went up to the second floor and sat in a very small waiting room. We met a couple from Toledo who are here to adopt a 12-year-old girl that they know about from some of their friends. John and the man were really chatting things up about owning businesses. I was feeling nervous and my stomach was weak. (MOM: thanks for telling me to always carry a snack. I had a granola bar stashed in my purse) I guess I was realizing that more than a whole year of paperwork and appointments culminated to this very moment.

A dark-haired man in a sweater called our name and we were led to a very long hallway with many wooden doors on the left. We sat on a bench, waiting some more. Employees were coming in and out of the doors, we were wondering how many people could possibly keep coming in an out. It was almost cartoon-like.

Finally, it was our turn. The very nice lady and the psychologist were waiting for us in the last room. They put a book in front of us on the desk, it looked like a big photo album. We flipped through, one page at a time, and they told us that one child has just become available. One that we might be interested in.

If everything goes as planned, we are supposed to visit the little girl on Friday.

Hello, Kiev!

So this is Kiev, Ukraine. Cold, very gray, a bit dark. Hey it looks like Michigan. We breezed through Customs, much to our surprise and to Natasha's surprise as well. She said it usually takes up to 2 hours, we took about 15 minutes. Maybe we look so innocent?

We are simply exhausted, though a second wind has kicked in enough energy for me to file this so you all know that we made it safely. We are staying in an apartment that is quite small, in a tall, old building near about 100 other very similar buildings. It feels a little like our plane took us back in time. We are on the outskirts of town and hope to spend more time in the downtown Kiev area on Wednesday. We just found out that our appointment time is 11 am Wednesday (that's 4 am for y'all in the Eastern time zone.) We bought some local vodka, hoping that will help us fall asleep quickly tonight.

We stopped at a grocery store to get some things to tide us over. We grabbed a plastic bag to put our food in as we shop. That's how they do it here. And they charge 10 cents for the bag. Food is cheap, though. Lots of older ladies were walking through the store with bags they brought, filling them up as they lingered in the aisles. At first I thought they were all thieves.

Austin: I will ask you what I ask you every day. How was school today? I know you are doing OK at Aunt Karen's. They adore you!

Thanks for the comments, friends and family. It's fun to read them. We feel a little stranded...

Wish us luck!

We made it to Amsterdam!

We landed on time in Amsterdam. The airport is huge. Lisa, you are an awesome niece! We loved our upgrade to first class for the 7 1/2- hour flight! We sipped champagne and nibbled on sushi. And you have to love those hot, hot towels!

We are basically stuck in the airport for four hours, which is the middle of the night for us. It was hard to sleep on the plane with all of the interruptions for food, drinks, movie. You know, the usual first class stuff.

When we got to the gate at Metro airport in Detroit, the airlines attendant at check-in asked us if we were adopting a child. "How did you know?" I asked. "Because you are going to Ukraine in February. No one goes there in February unless they have a good reason." Oh boy. I hope I remembered to pack my hat and gloves. I forgot to pack the boots I just bought specifically for this trip.

We miss Austin already, but we know he is in great hands with Karen, Mike and Caroline, and my Mom too. Thanks to all!

Hey Austin, your piano teacher said she would come to your Aunt Karen's house to give you a lesson while we're gone. No?? Hmmm....

Not much more to report yet. We're just a couple of weary travelers. We should arrive in Kiev around 3 pm. (that's 8 a.m. Detroit time)

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